Hockey practice- 5:30 a.m. Cramming for a final exam- 7:00 a.m. Presenting a science power point assignment- 8:45 a.m. Joining the advance geometry study group- 10:25 a.m. Lunch with 800 other students- 11:45 a.m. Auditioning for the select choir- 12:30 p.m. Reporting cell phone stolen- 1:25 p.m. Missing English class- 2:15 p.m. Hockey endurance training- 2:45 p.m. Meet with boyfriend- 5:00 p.m. Miss super- 6:00 p.m. Piano lesson- 7:00 p.m. Homework 8:30 p.m. Instant messaging time with friends- 10:45 p.m. Bedtime- 12:30 a.m. Hockey practice- 5:30 a.m. and, here we go again!
Jeanne Sather, author of this article, challenges many of us parents to take a good look at the lives of our children.
We all know a kid like this: the one who gets off the school bus and goes straight to soccer practice, eats a take-out dinner in the car on the way to Scouts or chess, and gets back home just in time to fall into bed at 10PM.
Or, there’s the kid who competes in two sports, plays a musical instrument, goes for private tutoring or takes computer or foreign language classes–all on top of a full day at school.
Maybe you see your own child in one of these descriptions. Sometimes kids like this make me think I’m failing my own two by not providing them with enough “advantages” or extras. Other times I think that these kids are missing out on childhood.
Where’s the downtime? The time just to hang with friends, or read for pleasure, or whittle sticks? The time to play with the dog or draw on the sidewalk with chalk?
Some busy, active kids seem to thrive on a schedule that requires a Rolodex and spreadsheet to keep straight. Others are overwhelmed, heading for burnout at the age of eight or ten.
Seattle family therapist Flora Coughlin, MSW, says that some children are overloaded because of family pressures, and others due to their own desire to participate in these activities. Some kids experience such an intertwined combination of these two reasons for overload that it may be hard to distinguish one from the other.
Other factors, Coughlin says, include the changing structure of the family and neighborhoods. “Children are going to school outside of their neighborhoods, so we’re making communities for them with sports and music and other activities,” she says. “Another reason is that in households with two parents working, [the parents are] finding things to keep the kids as busy as they are.”
Individual kids have different thresholds of activity and may also handle stress in different ways. Some kids might be so involved in their activities that they don’t realize they’re trying to do too much. As a parent, it is up to you to help determine when your kids are in over their heads. You should then set a reasonable schedule for your kids, one that everyone can live with most of the time.
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