Keep in mind the advice of Dr. Lois Nightingale, a psychotherapist in Yorba Linda, California, claims that when children truly have a passion for something and want to excel at it, they rarely feel too much stress or pressure. "It is more often when the parents are 'giving the child the opportunity they never had' that troubles start,"she says.
One thing's for certain: If the activities your children are doing are stressing YOU out, your children are definitely doing too much.
Burned-out mom or dad
The first rule of thumb for setting a schedule for a child is whether or not you, the parent, can handle that schedule.
A stressed-out, overtired parent is seldom a good parent. When we are exhausted from driving in rush hour traffic and hungry because there was no time for dinner, we are cranky, irritable, and maybe even rude to our kids. A stressed-out parent passes that stress on to his or her kids.
Before you agree to a schedule of after-school activities for your child, consider the time commitment for each activity, such as games and practices. Then consider all the extras you will be expected to do to support your child in this activity.
Will you need to help organize the activity? Make phone calls to other parents? Run car washes or auctions to raise money? Bake cookies?
It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson. I am always wildly optimistic about how much I can do at first. Then, when reality sets in (usually on a cold and rainy winter afternoon when the car is out of gas and I'm late to pick up a child), I kick myself. Hard.
If you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to bow out gracefully. Don't stay with a program if it isn't working for you or your child. Say, "We are sorry, but we have to drop this activity. We love it, and you are a great coach [or teacher, or adviser], but we are too overwhelmed."
Childhood Stress, Top Web Parenting Articles, Youth Sports & Psychology January 28th, 2008
Keep in mind the advice of Dr. Lois Nightingale, a psychotherapist in Yorba Linda, California, claims that when children truly have a passion for something and want to excel at it, they rarely feel too much stress or pressure. "It is more often when the parents are 'giving the child the opportunity they never had' that troubles start,"she says.
One thing's for certain: If the activities your children are doing are stressing YOU out, your children are definitely doing too much.
Burned-out mom or dad
The first rule of thumb for setting a schedule for a child is whether or not you, the parent, can handle that schedule.
A stressed-out, overtired parent is seldom a good parent. When we are exhausted from driving in rush hour traffic and hungry because there was no time for dinner, we are cranky, irritable, and maybe even rude to our kids. A stressed-out parent passes that stress on to his or her kids.
Before you agree to a schedule of after-school activities for your child, consider the time commitment for each activity, such as games and practices. Then consider all the extras you will be expected to do to support your child in this activity.
Will you need to help organize the activity? Make phone calls to other parents? Run car washes or auctions to raise money? Bake cookies?
It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson. I am always wildly optimistic about how much I can do at first. Then, when reality sets in (usually on a cold and rainy winter afternoon when the car is out of gas and I'm late to pick up a child), I kick myself. Hard.
If you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to bow out gracefully. Don't stay with a program if it isn't working for you or your child. Say, "We are sorry, but we have to drop this activity. We love it, and you are a great coach [or teacher, or adviser], but we are too overwhelmed."
Keep in mind the advice of Dr. Lois Nightingale, a psychotherapist in Yorba Linda, California, claims that when children truly have a passion for something and want to excel at it, they rarely feel too much stress or pressure. "It is more often when the parents are 'giving the child the opportunity they never had' that troubles start,"she says.
One thing's for certain: If the activities your children are doing are stressing YOU out, your children are definitely doing too much.
Burned-out mom or dad
The first rule of thumb for setting a schedule for a child is whether or not you, the parent, can handle that schedule.
A stressed-out, overtired parent is seldom a good parent. When we are exhausted from driving in rush hour traffic and hungry because there was no time for dinner, we are cranky, irritable, and maybe even rude to our kids. A stressed-out parent passes that stress on to his or her kids.
Before you agree to a schedule of after-school activities for your child, consider the time commitment for each activity, such as games and practices. Then consider all the extras you will be expected to do to support your child in this activity.
Will you need to help organize the activity? Make phone calls to other parents? Run car washes or auctions to raise money? Bake cookies?
It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson. I am always wildly optimistic about how much I can do at first. Then, when reality sets in (usually on a cold and rainy winter afternoon when the car is out of gas and I'm late to pick up a child), I kick myself. Hard.
If you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to bow out gracefully. Don't stay with a program if it isn't working for you or your child. Say, "We are sorry, but we have to drop this activity. We love it, and you are a great coach [or teacher, or adviser], but we are too overwhelmed."
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