Children should not be expected to handle bullies on their own. Kids need to be taught that bullying is unacceptable. And because bullying often happens in peer environments, this message has to be reinforced and supported on all levels – at home and in school. Hodges found that children who have friends who stand up for them against bullies are less likely to become victims. But one individual’s attempts don’t necessarily stop the bully completely because the bullying often occurs in a group situation. Furthermore, the bullying can affect everyone in a group – besides the obvious bully or victim. For example, children who have not been targeted are secretly relieved when someone else is bullied which in turn creates widespread avoidance of the bully and lack of involvement with the victim. Thus there is an unfortunate silent majority that is ill prepared, ineffective, and equally fearful. The bully system can create a group wide undercurrent of intimidation that is difficult to overcome single-handedly. Therefore it is imperative to enlist aid from adults. Parents, teachers, and even pediatricians must become more adept and sensitive at identifying possible victims and bullies. The adults who are in a position to intervene on behalf of the victims must band together to take power away from the bully. An important step is identifying and stripping the bully of his or her power because bullies themselves are skillful at avoiding apprehension or punishment.
Once a bullying situation is revealed and identified, adults must:
- act immediately
- trust the victim
- take a strong stand
Parents must:
- provide a secure attachment for their child
- monitor their own behavior and aggression
- provide appropriate models of conflict resolution
- encourage autonomy and independence in their child
- be concerned and responsive regardless of whether your child is the reported bully or victim
- offer suggestions/advice for dealing with problematic peers e.g. being in more public places
- involve the school if abuse continues
What can schools do?
The most effective intervention program requires focusing on the bully, the victim, the peer culture, and the school and home environments (Garrity, et al, 1996). Since bullying often goes undetected and out of the range of vision of most adults, adult investigation and recognition of the problem are essential for initiating an effective program and stem the tide of bullying. A variety of school intervention plans focus on (National School Safety Center, 1996):
- helping both the bully and victim develop improved self esteem
- establishing a no tolerance policy for bullying
- creating and enforcing rules of respectful and responsible behavior
- educating students about the issue
- encouraging of reporting
- training of educational staff
- involving parents and the community
A successful bullying program is built around a multi-system approach – one that sends a clear and consistent message to bullies and victims alike that bullies are not in charge and that all children will be safe.
