Children Who Steal

Parents need to know that it is very common and normal for children under the ages of four and five to take things that do not belong to them without understanding the concept of stealing.  Children need to be taught lessons in personal property and not taking something without permission.  Children under the age of five are generally self-centered and their primary focus is often seeing and taking what they want.  That’s why parents need to begin teaching their child the manners involved in asking permission to take, borrow or use someone else’s belongings.  Parents who overlook these important lessons often receive embarrassing phone calls from their child’s school, youth programs or neighbors in regards to their child’s theft issues.

Why Do Children Steal?

There are many reasons why children may take things that do not belong to them.  Parents need to become more concern when they see a repeated pattern of stealing and are beginning to identify their child with more then one of the reasons for stealing listed below.

• A child may be stealing to get attention.  The attention that they may be seeking, other than the parents, may include their peers or brothers and sisters.

• Children often learn from adults.  When a child sees a parent take items from their work, neighbors or even stores in front of their children, are modeling the behavior of stealing.  Children often learn from this example that some stealing is acceptable behavior.

• A child may feel that they “found” an item that does not belong to them, and therefore they may keep the item.  Parents need to teach their children that a “found” item is not necessarily theirs to keep.

• A child’s basic needs may not be met.  Some children who steal often feel they are lacking something that other children may have.  For example:  Some of your child’s friends may have pocket money to buy extra food while they are at school.  The parent may not view this desire as necessary or the parent cannot afford the “pocket change” to give to their child, so the child steals the money to meet his or her needs.

• Some children steal to gain control or power.

• Some children steal for the thrill.  This often occurs with older teens and adults.  This type of stealing often becomes habitual.

• Some children steal to fit in or to be accepted by their peers.  This type of stealing is often caused by peer pressure.