Self-Injury Behavior
Over the past year, one in five females and one in seven males have engaged in some form of self-injury type behavior. The growing concern of “cutting” is now on the forefront of many mental health agencies, schools and youth leaders concerns for young adults today. This article provides the reader with some basic facts and statistics on this interesting, but often scary topic.
The “Cutting” Edge Facts
- 90% of self-injury individuals begin harming themselves during their teen years or younger.
- Cutting and other self-injury behavior crosses all cultures and socio-economic norms.
- Cutting and self-injury is a method used by individuals to take care of themselves, their feelings and actions.
- 40% of all individuals who commit self-injury type behaviors are males.
Almost 50% of cutters or self-injury individuals have reported being sexually abused. - Almost 50% of self-abusers begin at the age of 14 and continue into their 20’s.
- Some studies indicate that cutting and other self-injury behavior is learned from friends or peers.
Go to Ask A Counselor to find out what to do if your child is cutting.
I am doing a report on this topic for school. Where did you get your statistics from? I would like to use them in my presentation but cannot use information from a .com website.
Thank you
i cut myself…and it’s the hardest thing to stop. i’m addicted to it. But now, i don’t want to stop.
i know the feeling all to well of what youre talking about.
Hey Natalie, have you talked to anybody about this before now? if not and you’d like some help please contact me at aaron@revivethecity.org and I will do my best to get you the best help I can.
I love you for who you are, being and ex-cut addict I know exactly how you feel. If you want to find the hope to this darkness, I would be more than happy to just talk. Know that there are thousands out there that know exactly how you feel, you are not alone, and there are even more that love you, including me.
Hi, i feel the same way but im not sure what to do… Did u ever stop? Any suggestions or comments?
I understand where you’re coming from. I was a cutter and I was addicted to it for years and never believed that I could stop; that the addiction would stay. But I also did not want to stop, at first. But it took 20 minutes alone with a razor and a rush to the hospital to realize that I needed to stop. I know it’s hard and you may not want to, but think of all the people you are hurting and/or could hurt. If you believe that you can stop, and with the right help (psychiatric hospitals are your best bet for real help because you can’t do it alone), you can beat your addiction. I did. And I know you can too.
i was just like you but i found something that i wanted to stop for some one i wanted to stop for. i stopped after 2 years of cutting, and when i did stop i was in a wheal chair, i also was carving in to my ankle and the back of my neck. i stopped for someone i loved because i knew that he know that he couldn’t take it, he never under stood it cutting and what it was all about. just think of it down the road. who will you meat and what will you have to tell them to make it up. how are you going to cover it up, how are you going to tell them what it is. think about your family down the road, the little ones that mite come out of this. what are you going to tell them when they ask you what they are, what is on your arm, lag, chest, neck even. i was trying to hide them i was cutting behind my ear. just think about that and it would help you to stop it should help.
i hope that it helps.
I cut, and I’m kinda shy about it so this is the first time I’ve talked about it. My mom won’t let me cut, but I feel like I need to cut. I only cut with a staples. Both of my friends used to cut and I think I might be cutting because they did, but I’m not sure. I want help, but I don’t want anyone to know about. I don’t have any money though, so I don’t know what to do. I only cut 16 times, and I’m 12. I am trying to stop on my own, but it’s not easy. I keep a staple with me at all times just in case, but I kinda want to stop. I am very confused right now
I cut too, and I have SI-ed for about 10 years (I’m 14).
See, in all my research…it’s not that you’re addicted to the actual act of it. You’re addicted to the endorphins it releases, which gives you the feeling of being addicted to cutting.
It’s kind of complicated..but that’s the gist of it.
i use to i know you dont wanna stop but when you do youll feel way better. i would know
Hello, i am also doing a synopsis report on self-mutilation. This was good info, thank you. Your piture is ewwie though. Its ok because i cut myself and i see it everyday. Lol
What is the ethical practice for school counselors who work with students engaging in cutting behavior?
Vivian:
Two ethical standards of practice need to be considered while assisting a minor (17 years of age or under) who is cutting:
1) Teaching and Education- A school counselor’s role, similar to all educators, involves teaching and education. Cutters are searching for strategies to reduce emotional pain. That’s where we, school counselors, begin to go to work!
2) Referral and out of school assistance- Due to the fact that we are assisting minors in a situation where they are harming themselves, we are obligated to contact the parent or guardian. Educating parents about cutting is important. Chronic cutters often need assistance beyond the scope and practice of a school counseling. Encouraging parents to contact their medical doctor for further assistance is not only ethical, but a must.
Thanks for your question!
Scott
ScottCounseling.com
i cutt when i was 11 and did not stop untill i was 14 thank you ZCS for you help.
Thanks for sharing Rebecca. Can you or someone else share what ZCS is.
Thanks!
Scott
ScottCounseling.com
I starting cutting at age 14, that was after years of biting my nails until they bled and pulling out my hair. I’m 39 now and though I cut less often it is still a problem for me.
I have been in and out of counseling several times, but that in itself has never really helped.
God can heal all these problems
amen!
my best friend and i both are active with different forms of self-injury. im really worried about my friend more than i am worried about myself. my friend feels the same way about me. is there some sort of a group therapy or counseling session we could both attend for teens?
Ernie:
Thanks for the question regarding cutting. Yes, there are treatment facilities and counseling centers that offer support groups. For example: dial 1-800-dontcut for cutting treatment centers located by you.
This Website also offers help specifically for cutting:
http://www.treatment-center.com/
Finally, contact your medical doctor (or your health insurance company) who will refer you to a specialist in this are.
Act today…it’s good to get help!
Scott
ScottCounseling.com
What if I don’t want to stop cutting? I have been in the hospital twice, the second time was because I almost died from overdosing. I don’t want to die anymore, but everyone is making me stop cutting when I don’t want to. Shouldn’t it be my choice??
i think theyre just worried about you. you have to try to see it from their point of view. ya its your choice but these people love you and dont want you hurting yourself):
i think that you should be able to make you’re own choices. i started cutting when i was 11. you have to decide for yourself if you want to keep cutting or now. if it’s forced it won’t help you at all. i know from experence. i’m almost 16 now and have stoped for over a month now. but it feels like an eternity. but it should totally be your decision.
Dear Scared & SC Readers:
No one who loves you, and I am sure there are many, wants you to end your emotional pain or fear by replacing it with physical pain.
Readers…your thoughts?
Scott
ScottCounseling.com
i cut myself…i hate myself..i dont know y i do it..i dont know if i m happy or sad…i m so confused..i need help…but i dont think i want any….c wt i mean?
When I was 13 I started cutting because I hated myself. I had been molested for years as a child and I hated myself for it. Now I (sorta) understand that it wasn’t my fault but I still can’t stand myself. I don’t eat but I’m still fat and that makes me mad so I cut open all the spots on my body that I don’t like. The cutting makes me feel better but the scars make me hate my body even more. Thus more starving, more dissapointments, and MORE cutting. It’s a circle. But what I don’t understand is what I’m supposed to try to stop doing first??? Should I try and quit everything at once?? And how?! I’m so confused and sick of it all
I am sixteen, and have been cutting since age twelve. I honestly Am not sure why I started cutting but as far as stopping, I don’t see it in my near future.. I like it, it helps me cope no a days. I have also gotten into alot of things in the last year or so as far as SI goes. I dont know if I feel as ADDICTED as it sounds but, i cant stop. However, I would like to know if there is a number I can call so I can talk to someone about it. Free please(:.
I don’t know about professional help, but I was addicted to cutting myself Windy. I’ve been clean for a little over a month and if you want to talk I’d be more than happy to. Just send me an email at jspease2@yahoo.com. My name is Jake, I’m 16 and I’m an addict.
Um…i cut…and im addicted to cutting, and i see nothing wrong with it…it actually makes me feel better and keeps me from killing myself…plus cutting, is how we show the scars on the inside that ppl have givin us…idk cutting is attracting…and is kool to see on ppl…plus cutting takes away my stress and when im depressed, it gets things off my mind…and when you have parents who tell you they don’t care…ya it helps a lot to cut…idk i wouldn’t say don’t do it… i would say do it…cause it helps…better then drugs anyway…
Jared:
You may feel that your parents don’t care..and maybe they don’t. The fact is, there are other who do! There are also other ways to help you cope with things you need “help with” beside cutting or self-injury.
Using cutting to make yourself feel better is like using a one inch bandage on a wound that needs 100 stitches; the bandage is not enough.
There are literally thousands of individuals who have stopped cutting by:
1) Schedule and see a medical doctor- you would do this if you had a high fever!
Do it for your depressed situations.
2) Speak with your school counselor or out-of-school counselor. Talk with a youth or church/religious counselor- you would see your dentist for a tooth ache, see a counselor for the emotional pain you are experiencing.
I started cutting at 15 and was finally free from it a few months ago at 20. My mother is bipolar and very controlling. On her meds, she was your average control freak. Off her meds, she became abusive. My way of controlling my life was cutting. I loved to decide how big, how deep, and where to do it.
The first step in escape is to tell someone, anyone. This does not mean you must stop right away, but now you have someone to talk to about it when you do it, or even call on before you do it.
I was 18 when I finally told someone. 2 years later I was able to stop without being forced. I actually wanted to stop. Getting someone else’s input, someone with an open mind who won’t run screaming into the night, can make all the difference.
i used to cut well i still do but hardly. its harder then it looks to stop its an addiction.
I cut for seven years after being sexually abused by my boyfriend for a year. It sounds silly, I know, but I quit “cold turkey” because I told the people around me what was happening and as much as I hated it I made them remove the resources. Granted I’m sure that strategy won’t necessarily work for everyone but if you really truly want to stop hurting yourself try choosing one person that you really trust and talk to them about it. A sibling, a best friend, whomever. If they care about you (and I’m certain they do) they’ll do whatever it takes you help you. And if you want to talk about it, you can talk to me too.
My email is hegan@worcester.edu. I hope I helped!
If I make it through tomorrow, it will be eighteen months without breaking my skin. I’ve never felt so empty in my life. Injuring myself doesn’t fix anything; neither does not hurting myself. The counselors tried to tell me other ways I could hurt myself without maiming myself. I don’t want another crutch, but then again, I clearly don’t know what I want.
My only caution to others is be careful whom you tell: I talked with an RA and was sent to the dean’s office and potentially kicked out of school. It was the most detrimental experience of my life. Now I don’t feel comfortable talking to even my best friends when I’m upset. I don’t talk, I don’t cut, I just don’t.
Kyl:
The cutting addiction, like other addictions is often challenging and difficult to beat. The fact that you have gone 18 months without cutting is outstanding. The empty feeling you are going through may be depression. Over 40 million American have or will go through some level of depression sometime during their life time. Only a medical doctor can diagnose depression. Depression is treatable. I know you may not feel like talking with someone, but please speak with a medical doctor who will help you to feel better about life and get you through this “empty” feeling you are experiencing.
Scott
ScottCounseling.com
This site seems like a good place for teens to go when confused or lost. I am 31 now I dont cut anymore but I did cut for about 8 or 9 years. I stopped when I was 20 when my now ex-husband said he would leave me if I didnt. So i did. It wasnt easy at all! But if I had something to go to like this back then maybe I would have stop long before that.Great idea!!!
I’ve been trying to stop cutting for quite awhile, but i always screw up. I have gone 4 months at the most. But somehow i just cant kick this habit. It’s so hard. At times, i want to stop and other i tell myself whats the point I;m going to end up cutting in the end. I have been doing since i was 16, now 23. Its still a struggle. I was raped by my ex at 16 thats when i started. But im havent been with him for a long time. I have gone to a counseler just this year, but not during the summer b/c of school is out.
I know how you feel except i was abused from the time I was 7 to 13 years old by an older cousin. You just need to find ways to keep your mind off of it.
It’s not easy to stop. My situation was very much like yours and I didn’t stop until 5 years after I finally got the courage to leave him. I know I’ve offered before but if you want to speak to someone that has been through the situation PLEASE feel free to contact me, I have AIM (Lilhays08) and MSN Messenger (caerulea_anastasia@hotmail.com) or you can just email me at hegan@worcester.com. If you don’t want to thats alright to, but please remember, there IS hope.
I am currently a self harmer and going through a state of depression. I have previously self harmed in the past but went 2 years with minor slip ups with out cutting, now recently with an episode with my parents I strayed back to it and now once again I am finding it so difficult to stop.
Before I managed to quick by myself, but now I’m finding far more difficult. Due to a bad experience a couple of weeks ago which resulted me getting stitches in my wrist made me realise that I really needed to stop. I’ve probably been feeling more low than I have ever done before and I’ve never told any body this but I once took an over dose because I just wanted to end it all. Now simply I don’t know how I feel any more or even what I want.
Next monday will be my first counciling session and I’m really scared about it. I find it very difficult to talk about my feelings and rarely show my emotions apart from through self injury. A part of me wants to stop yet a huge part of me wants to carry on. To be truthly honest I’m scared to be alone most of the time because I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret. Some times I feel crazy!
The good thing about counseling is you don’t HAVE to talk about it right away. I didn’t talk to my therapist for about a month about self injury. Instead when I first started going to see him we talked about other things like politics or current affairs. Anyway, I hope it went well, and I hope whatever yo talked about was what you needed most at the time.
um… i have been cutting for a long time starting when i was in the seventh grade untill a couple months ago.
i started because i wanted to fit in with my friends it seems really stupid now but i just couldnt stop! i tryed servel times.. i never cut so deep that it scared very much, but when my parents are fighting and my brother is a pain in my butt , i lost it and cut VERY deep i have very sever depression and never had help i deal it with myself by cutting.
it got so bad i was cutting everyday, you could say one word and i was sprilling out of control.
it WAS controling my life, i had to wear long sleave everyday,, and in texas it is way to hot to do that.
my brother found out that i was self harmming and told my dad and he just said i was stupid for doing it and that only people that have problems cut.
YES! dad people with problems cut; i have problems!!
he still has yet to do anything!
i am afriad i am going to slip up during the school year high school is not the easiest thing ever..
i need to get over this it is still controling my life!
Kelsie,
i know a bit what you feel like. My parents care, but i CAN’T talk to them, it just doesn’t feel right.n I’m not that close with them. We get along well, but we’re not close. I started because i feel like no one loves me except family – bu i don’t feel like i can count them because they practically have to. I don’t really cut, what i like to call it is scratch. Its not deep enough to let blood escape or anything – just scratching away a layer of skin. I want to cut, but I’m scared. I just want to do it once but what if i get addicted… i think i may know where your coming from with your father and all. My parents have told me don’t act so depressed. And that there are a million others with a worse life, but I’m not acting i can’t help it! And its so stupid because it all started with two boys. I didn’t ask either out because I’m to shy to do that, but i liked/like (i still like one, the other is an old crush) them and talk to them but it feels like they don’t know i exist. I’m mad at myself because its my own fault. And i want to be loved by a guy! sounds irrational and stupid but my biggest fear is that no one will love me before i die. Anyways, just talk to me, i want to help you because your story touches me, but i don’t want to feel like a councler to you, because i personally don’t like the feeling that i NEED help. I’ll be your friend (i am only 15)
There should be non profit counselors or people that self harmers can go to. My mother just got mad and yelled at me when she found out, she told me she was going to send me away to an asylum and to stop wallowing in self pity. I guess i understand where she is coming from, my parents work their asses of for my family and i guess they feel like when i cut im being ungrateful. Yet at the same time i don’t care, i don’t want to stop, i don’t feel sad or happy about it im indifferent. I would just like someone to talk to so i could try to understand why i cut. That is what confuses me the most i have never been able to find a reason, i have a fair life, no abuse or anything like that. I just cut, its been three years, ive gotten so good at hiding it, all i want is to find out why. Why do i cut? I just need someone to help me find it out, i can’t go to a doctor alone, you need a parent and there is no way i can ask my mother to take me. I feel like its not fair on them, yet at other times when i go to her crying about how i just feel empty and overwhelmed… she just tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I try to be strong and support my friends(one of my friends father just passed away) i don’t like to complain, because in all truth i have nothing to complain about. My friends need my help not someone who can’t deal. I don’t cut because i have problems, i just enjoy it, but i don’t know why. I feel so confused there has to be someone, a professional or someone i can go to that my parents don’t have to know or pay for.
wow! Lillian, you just described my life situation in detail almost to the exact last year! stuff got a lot worse though and long story short after a suicide attempt i ended up in psychiatric hospital. Please get help. if your like me, you dont want to because, like you said, you dont want to be a complainer since in other peoples eyes your life is fine. no real abuse. but you ARE HURTING. you probably have depression problems like me. and you cant control that! its a severe medical condition! if you had diabetes you wouldnt deny your self insulin would you? so dont deny yourself the help you need whether its SSRIs, counseling or whatever the docs tell you. My mom did not understand depression and niether does your mom. its not something you can snap out of just like that. while i was in treatment we had family therapy sessions bi-weekly. My mom had a chance to learn about my condition, and now im home and me and her have aa much better relationship. she understands that i have a condition, and takes me to a therapist every week. she talks to me and my mom for a few minutes and then just me. As, for self mutilation, im still trying to get over that. lifes sucks but there are things you can do. Talk to your school psychologist or your school counsilor. they’re more educated in this field than your mom is. Hope i helped. and remember your not the only one.
I had completely forgotten that i had posted this… But Sari thank you so much for the response it’s honestly comforting to know that there are people who care and have similar stories and that I am not being just a spoiled brat. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it yet really… I’ve never felt comfortable speaking to my school psychologist, my mother works at school and I feel like I would be embarrassing her. I will be going to college next year so I will probably be able to get some help there. But I do feel like i have grown allot over this past year, or that I understand my cutting a bit more now… I still do it and I still partake in self harming behaviors. I have started to consider slight depression seeing as how some of my crying spells have gotten worse and I have started to develop mild insomnia, i still however doubt whether it is real depression or a teen angst phase. Thank you again for showing me that some people care…. and i hope you feel better and work through your depression and best of luck to you
This is my life. I dont have a pinpoint reason, I just have these overwhelming feelings that will not go away.
I don’t cut because the feeling is so great, I do it know because I’m addicted to it.
The problem is I know its killing me, but its how I cope. I’ve ruined so many relationships because of it. People dont understand it, I dont even understand it.
self injury scars seem to be the most persistent scars ever; although the cutting has stopped and things got eventually “better”, the ruined arm constantly reminds me of how awful things were and prevent me from living my life in a “good” way. just depressing to see that they dont seem to go away. so anyone whos reading this: my advice: never inflict permanent damage to your body. there will be unchangeable regrets… which makes you feel even worse
I started cutting when I was 12. My parents found out, sent me to therpy. i stopped cutting so that they would shut up about the whole, becasue it’s really NOT a big deal at all. It didn’t really help me…my parents won’t let me talk to the friend that told me about cutting in the first place. That’s only making me want ot go back. Now they think that I’m going to do drugs, drink, and be a whore.
Cutting is not easy to stop, in-fact its anything but, the pain on the outside is easier to deal with than pain on the inside, taking several pain killers take away the pain of the cut, but they cant take away the emotional pain, and its addictive. i have bee cutting since i was 14, and i’m 17 now, and i have tryed to stop, but i just find other ways to convert the pain, and to be fair, most of those are worse.
this is the time when you really need to talk to someone. your life is worth so much more better than cutting or harming yourself. please, i used to cut and i finally broke down and told someone. i promise you, it will be hard at first, but the feeling of knowing that you don’t have to cut yourself anymore to relieve the pain and stress is so much more fulfilling than cutting.
i cut myself…i hate it but its an addiction i wish i could stop but…i dont know i just cant. no one knows about it but me and my best friend …it doesnt really help by her knowing because she doesnt try to help and when i bring the subject up she just changes the subject. i told her because iv known her since kindergarten and i can trust her with anything. but i dont think she likes the thought of me cutting myself and just doesnt want to talk about it…i want and need to tell my mom but im not sure how to tell her or how she will react …it scares me for people to know cause i think they will think im crazy or treat me diffrent… im only a teen and that sucks… :/
i am 20, i started cutting when i was 11. from 5th grade until now. im a sophmore in college. its not an easy thing to over come. once you start your life will never be the same. and regardless of how long you go without it, the scars will always be there are a reminder of the pain. i go to college in NC, it gets very hot. i always wear long pants and as soon as the temperature drops to about 70 i will be in long sleeves because it bothers me alot to always have people stairing at my scars. i know those who read this will wonder why i didnt go to a school with colder weather…well i did. i confided in someone and when i had a relaps they called 911 & i was taken involuntarily to the ER. i went to a very small college of 900 students. as soon as this person said something to one person, everyone knew. i had to leave. dealing with life as a self-injurer is never easy. thats when you have a choice…. dealing with how everyone will see you or continuing to cut.
But that’s still you being ashamed of who you are. Folks ALWAYS stare at my stabs and cuts, and I simply keep on smiling. They can think what they want, the person I am is beautiful, confident, and happy! If you’re going to spend your whole life behind a mask, then you will never find true joy, and will never accept yourself; thus not living at all.
cutting isnt an addiction its a way for a true cutter to release pain depression abuse thats y and once you have started to cut its hard to stop bc thats all you know every little thing upsets you and you feel the need to cut i should know i was a cutter am a cutter that lable never goes away but I havent cut in 2 yrs and still going strong and hopefully i never will
You just made a complete hypocrite of yourself. It IS an addiction because most people WONT/ or as you say “CAN’T” stop. Yes there’s “true” cutting (although that’s sick to me, to label it as something to be proud of) rather than someone who makes little slits because they’re ’sad’ and need ‘release’.
I want to talk to someone about my cutting, but if I tell my school they’ll send me away. I love my life, parents, family, friends, church, everything, but I cut myself still I don’t know why I do it, but it makes me feel better about myself. It makes me feel strong like, “hey, look at the kind of pain I can handle.”
I feel the same way. And yet, I feel like it’s an addiction. I still don’t know how to handle it.
through God anything is possible. Cast your burdens on the Lord for he cares about you. He got me though this and He can with you too. Just let him in.
Look up music like:
tenth avenue north
Skillet
Toby Mac
Pillar
Casting Crowns
Kutless
God and Love are the same thing. Not some guy, but inner love. It’s not “We are the SONS of God” but “We are the SUNS of God” for we are all one, equally. We are love.
I have cut before. My friend and I struggle. But I keep wantint to go back to it, although I know I shouldn’t. What do I do??
i needed an escape. and it was the friend that was always there for me. it was a daily thing for years. then i slowly starting to make myself stop.
i loved it though. it was everything to me. to see the scars made me proud. and i wanted to show them off. i didnt though. for fear of what someone would think.
my veins ached to bleed. i began to be able to feel my blood pulse through my veins.
and it wanted out.
ive stopped cutting but my mind goes back to it more than anyone would imagine.
its like i miss it. the friend i always had. the thing that was always there for me.
my scars are fading and that makes me sad. its part of me and i like the remembrance of it etched into my skin
I am 20 years old and have been cutting for about 7 years now, the longest stint i have gon through with out cutting was 10 months. i cut myself after an incident with someone else a few weeks ago, the cuts have healed, the scars are beginning to fade, but the problem with the addiction part of it is i dont really want them to heal, i always want to make new cuts, i want something to treat, something to dress, a secret to hide. It’s hard to explain, it is very difficult at times to resist the impulse to cut; however i have found god and since having that influence in my life it is a little easier to say no to those urges. but they are still there, at my peak i was cutting 2-3 times in a day, this went on for months. now i go more than 6 months in between crashes. I am proud of the progress i have made. i sympathise with cutting, i do not believe it is “wrong” or that anoyoone is “bad” for doing it, there are better ways to cope, and it can be over come.also its not just desperation that leads to cutting, i have cut because i was too happy and needed to come back to reality, because i was bored, or angry, there were times i would look for an excuse to carve up myself. just because you fall and start again doesnt mean you have failed. its just a relapse, you can get back on track again.
what helps me is to rationalise my feelings and thoughts. is it really going to matter in the next week? day? a few hours from now? or wheni feel utter desperation i try to find something distracting..,. movie, sleep, friends, internet, videogames, going out to eat, or just going for a walk. Find a person you can talk about your problems to, or write them down (you can tear these up afterwards
,its liberating) all these help.
i’m still on the road to recovery, i have no idea how long it will take me to get there, and i do step off sometimes, the important thing is to get back on the road. There are many sites and different assosiations out there that an help you stop. Thank you. If you have any questions you can feel free to E-mail me Libralynn1013@hotmail.com
Hello Scott. I was wondering if there are any statistics on ages younger than 12 or 13… I’ve been cutting since i was 9. I wonder everyday if there are others like me.
I started cutting early in the 8th grade. It was to deal with alot of emotional pressure. Now I just do…. I’ve been labeled “Emo” at my school, but no one even knows I cut. I cut on my upper arm and shoulder so I can still wear short sleeve shirts.I don’t do it often, but it’s getting more frequent. But, I like it. I don’t know why… but it’s appealing…
I’ve been a Cutter for 8 years. I began in the 5th grade and have been trying to stop for about 5 years now. But I can’t seem to stop. I’m addicted to it like many of you have said. I once stoped for 179 days. Then relapsed after a few weeks at College. I’m a freshmen this year and don’t do well with change, and college is a HUGE change. I always thought i’d be able to stop once i got to college, but aparently not. right now i’m one day into recovery again. before that it was 21 days. I hope to make more progress.
I’m doing a report on cutting the physcology behind it and ways to prevent it and I would like to ask permission to use a few of these entries as quotes in my story.
Please and thank you
Im 14 and ive been cutting for 2 years now … Cutting is hard to stop ive been in re-hab 4 times already .. and managed not do it anymore .. my girlfriend really helped me alot with it too .. she was nice and helpfull sometimes made me feel like she cared but .. then she broke up with me .. we had been dating for a year .. and it was hard to let her go .. especially to see her with another guy … alot of us dont like to share or talk to ppl about it .. but it does help and make a diffrence .. talk to a friend, cousin ..etc.
My daughter used to cut herself. She says that she started after hanging around with some “emo” kids. Apparently, these kids told her that cutting was part of emo. They really did a number on my daughter. She is recovering, but people would be wise to avoid these emo kids. Take a look at emodanger.co.cc for more information.
Ok so your daughter hung out with “emo” kids. But the “emo” kids didnt make her cut herself. Don’t blame them for her problems. Yes they may have given her the idea. But in the end SHE made the decision.
I’ve cut for four years and I’ve been “clean” for 2months. It’s something that never leaves you and never lets you go. You feel the temptation to do it the rest of you’re life, and I know that. I’ll go for months, up to 10 once, without a single cut, and then it’s like that Malboro at midnight that you just HAVE to have, and it sneaks right back in. I never went to a hospital for this, I had a life that I didn’t want to ruin. I didn’t want to hurt the people that loved me. I read most of the comments and that’s something I never saw mentioned. Cutting isn’t just about teenage angst and all that, it’s about dealing with a situation that you find no other way to deal with…is it healthy? no. is it safe? No. Is it managable? Yes, one step at a time. Social support is useful, you need to know that people love you and care what happens to you. People say to love another, you have to love yourself first. Well, that’s a lie. I don’t love me, I’m usually pretty at odds with myself, but I love other people. I love a lot of people and I know that what i do to myself matters to them, and i don’t want to hurt them, and sometimes….just sometimes, that’s what it takes.
Not true. When you finally understand yourself and real love for yourself, you let go. Don’t say never, that’s just silly.
that was so amazing! it really touched me! like you have no idea! i respect you!
I’m doing an article on this subject for my schools newspaper, your info was useful =]
i cut myself because i am addicted to the taste of my own blood, i would find it hard to stop for a day but i also think life is crap
I’m cutting myself, and it forced my boyfriend to give up on me and leave. I really want to stop but can’t. i’ve tried counseling but it only made things worse. i need help but I can’t figure out a way to get help without the situation becoming worse.
I never meant to hurt anyone by my cutting. I thought it wouldn’t affect anyone, but it does. I no longer have control of it. it’s as if there is another person in my body controlling me. People try to understand but can’t and give up. they don’t realize that, in order for me to stop or even be able to admit to an adult that I need help, I need their support. and They’re not giving it to me. They pretty much leave me here to fend for myself and this is something I cannot conquer on my own.
Hi all,
I have a friend (yes, it really is a friend and this is not “code” for me), a beautiful, bright, amazing girl, who is dealing with a huge emotional burdens. She started cutting long before I met her, and to my knowledge she has not cut herself in recent months, but she has told me she wants to. There are many issues behind this situation but the main one is that as soon as we start talking and I ask questions or try to get insight into her thought-process she shuts down. She always just says “I don’t know why” or “I will make it better, I always make it better on my own” and she honestly believes she is the only one in the world with the problems. She refuses to seek any treatment, and just realizes on myself and our other good friend to make it through.
How can I help her? I’ve told her that I’m not qualified to really help, but that I will be with her through it all. It is just so frustrating when she shuts down and I know I get angry, even though I try not to.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated it. I want to help her.
e-mail: little_moments_44@yahoo.com
Hi my name is stephanie. I have cut for two years and am now doing a school paper on it. I believe it is a huge issue society secretly has and it needs to be shared. I need interviews and other point of views so if you have anything to say on this topic please contact me at Happybunnyix3@aol.com.
I am doing a school project on this and all of thins information was very helpful. I also have many friends who cut and i understand what everyone is going through and i wish you all the best in trying to fix things, because from personal experiences i know that when you do find a way to stop, life becomes a lot easier.
i i do understand that cutting is really hard to stop. i have been harming myself since i was about 9 years old. i am now in a rehab for addiction and i am going to try and explain why people self harm.
well,i love to cut not for the reasons of most people. i cut do to the fact i love how the blood pours so nicely out of my wrist then as i lick the blood off the knife and my wrist i get ineffably overjoyed for my lust of blood for taste and sexually.well my qustion is is that normal? Plus for each cut on my wrist i have as a memory as such of a tattoo to recall and learn from them. i dont hide them i treat my cut wrist jest as if it werent cut and i hate when it attarcts attaition so that is the only reason i cut. so as i said before is that normal?
No one can MAKE you cut. Someone up there posted “the scars are the pain on the inside that people make us feel.” No one can MAKE you feel anything. They can trigger emotions, but then it still comes back to you. How much are you worth, are you valued?
I always want to say ‘If you think you’re so worthless slit UP the wrist, not across, and end it all.’ It’s easy and you can quit doing you’re little thing.
– But then I have to remember myself and the person I once was that is now dead. I started cutting when I was… Hmm… Young. I believe 12. I started out small. I would break glass things around my house and start slicing. But just one or two at a time and go really slow. My mother wanted me dead, and tried once to off me. My step-father was NEVER sexually abusive, but he wouldn’t really stand up for me. I raised my two little sisters because neither parents were ever home. School was no safe haven. I was tormented and teased, etc.. I was chubby, not shy and spoke everything that came to my mind. I was loathed by not just others, but myself. More anger grew and boiled inside of me till I couldn’t take it. My first try was a long-gated slice up my right art. Didn’t do what I wanted it to. Second try, 157 slashes across and up/down my left wrist. No death to be found. 3rd try was an OD, still didn’t work.
I’ve cut numerous times through out my life since then. I am 18 years old now. I have the words “PLEASE LOVE ME” carved into my left arm, a giant light burn “smiley face” and numerous cuts all over. By breasts have X’s carved into them, and both of my legs; mostly my thighs, have extremely dark, Very visible, Very profound scars. Tiger stripes, gashes and gouges, just deep deep cuts.
I then realized something. Who am I? What am I? If I don’t like what I’m doing or who I am, then only can change that.
If you harm yourself because of pain, and self-loathing, and hurt and anger and hatred, you can not love or care for anyone or anything as long as you do. What you do to yourself is how you view the world. What you focus on you will Always create. I love myself fully. I do not hide my scars. I wear bikinis in the summer and T-Shirts all year round. I have been a model for years now, and am known for my scars. Much of the time my photographer’s and I will not edit out my scars- depending on the advertisement/purpose. They are my past, but they are NOT ME anymore.
Silly or not, if anyone would like to keep in contact with me or ask for something or anything really, feel free to message me or go to my websites at all time.
Love
-Albany Rose
(–I have myspace, but just look me up on Facebook. I’m very pale, and short hair, you’ll see.)
I am 19 and a freshmen in College. I am not you typical cutter. I was the preppy girl in high school that could have any guy I wanted i made the good grades and i had all the friends. But i hated myself and I had a horrible home life that i hide behind close doors. I also, lost my best friend to suicide right before we started our senior year together. Ive SI for 5 years now. I always believed that this nightmare of my addiction would have ended before now yet it has not. It is the thing i hate but ‘need’ at the same time. God set me free from this addiction that i had to have daily. As well as many other addictions this past summer. I went about 150 days before i relapsed about two months ago (my personal best) although God has set me free from the strong hold it had on my life i still struggle with it from time in time. People if you can get a grip on this horrible addiction try.. Life only gets harder and crap piles higher and higher. Work through your problems God listens and trust me there is nothing you cant bring to him because if you name it I have done it in my four short years of high school! Im prayer for each one of you to find freedom in Christ that i have. Talk to someone you just never know that person could just be the one to help you radically change your life and open your eyes to a beautiful world that is not always full of daisy’s but Life is not all that bad
I started cutting when I was 17. it has been very hard to stop. I really want to kill myself a lot of the time, at those times when I really am seriously thinking about it, I am trying so hard not to do anything that I start shaking. I am scared that I won’t be able to stop myself the next time. I am trying to get help from a therapist. But the scheduling is taking so long. The longer I wait, the less I feel like anything that they say will really help at all. I don’t feel like I need a therapist. I feel like I need somebody who will be there for me when I am having those thoughts.
I started cutting last year when i was 15. I used something blunt, so it left a big scar. I lie and tell everyone, even my parents, i fell. i think they know the truth, but don’t want to confront me. i moved school after that, but it just made things worse. i used a blade, but then i changed to using my nails. It doesn’t bleed, and it looks like it could have been caused by other things, like falling, something i’m accustomed to. I want it to stop, but no one, even my friends, listen. They scold me for being stupid, and say i just want attention. I can’t tell my parents. They’ll go crazy. I put on the mask that i’m happy, and i feel like a hypocrite, cause everytime my mother and i watch a movie about cutting, i say that i’ll never do it.
I cut. and i do want help but i don’t want people to find out about it. especially my mom. I think she knows I’m depressed and I might tell her about that and ask to go to a therapist but i still dont want her to know about my cutting. Do therapists or counselors tell your parents everything or will they keep my secret to themselves?
i know how everybody above is feelings because i used to cut myself. luckily, i got myself some help before it was too late. cutting is very dangerous, even if it makes you feel good. try taking pain away by doing something more healthier. for examples, if you need to talk to someone and you don’t think anyone will listen, write your thoughts down in a journal. that helped me alot. also, try going out for sports (boxing can really help eliminate stress and it is also very healthy to do the active part) or sign up for some after school activities. don’t get me wrong, i don’t think you are stupid for cutting because i been there, but please just do something more healthier and helpful to eliminate your stress and pain.
I used to cut all the time. But now I know exactly how it made my friends and family feel.. I try not doing it so often. But sometimes I slip… The only time I do it is when I get really mad. Or it feels like my world is coming to an end…
I cut. It’s an addiction. I started in when i was twelve and have been cutting since, and I’m almost sixteen. My parents have seen my cuts many times and don’t care, they’re just glad I’m not smoking cigarettes instead. I cut at least once a week, sometimes more. I want to talk to someone, but I can’t bring myself to talk to a doctor because he would tell my mom and she doesn’t care. I’ve begged my parents for therapy, but they think I’m joking. I just want someone I trust to care. Problem is, I don’t trust anyone.
my best friend cut herself it was the hardest thing to deal with. i cried for days because i thought i would lose her. shes my hero in a way unexplainable. if anyone ever needs to talk to someone. i know what its like so im here
I’m 19 and I have cut myself. The urges started at 18 after my ex girlfriend dumped me in August. I was depressed for about 2 months (had a 3 month relationship) after she broke up with me. I’m depressed again now because I can’t find work anywhere plus two girls I’m in love with, one of them is now in a relationship and the other is in love with some one else. Though I didn’t bleed (close to it though), cutting is addicting.
I’m 26 years old. i started cutting when i was 17 or so. i think about the longest time i went without was about 2 months. it started off with little cuts that didn’t even scar now i have really bad scars on my arm. i hate the people who are like well just stop or are just mean. i want to stop.
I told my mom about my cutting when I was 13, She blew it off like it was nothing. 1 year later I had to go to the hospital to get stiches. The doctor made sure I went to a counselor twice a week because my mom didn’t want me in rehab. It was funny, I thought I wanted help but insted I just played mind games with the counselor and made her think I was fine. I still cut and hate myself for it but i really don’t think i am ready to stop yet… it’s so bad i get sick when i look at my scars. I am hoping one day i will wake up and be better but until then…
I’ve been cutting for the last four years. It started as a way to deal with my depression and self loathing but now it’s becoming an obsession. I’ve always been very careful to make the cuts light and obscure and keep them well hidden and I wait until the cut heals before I cut again. Usually I cut myself maybe once a month but lately I’ve been having trouble waiting for the cuts to heal. I’ve already cut myself twice in the last two weeks. I’m afraid that I am losing control of my urges to cut. I tried talking to a couple of friends who have also cut but they didn’t help, one just quizzed me about why I cut and how I feel which only made me want to talk about it less. I don’t want to talk to my doctor because he’s a stupid quack who’s never been any help before. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stop cutting but I’m afraid that I am becoming addicted.
I happened upon this website while looking for information on depression, self-mutilation, and suicide for my I-search report. As far as that goes, the facts and statistics are great. Personally, I don’t cut or use any other self injurious outlet, but I have a friend who does. Or has in the past. I’m not sure anymore. I don’t know how to talk to her mainly because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing, and she’ll get mad at me. I’d like to help her in anyway that I can.
I just found out today that my fourteen year old daughter was cutting herself. We have always been able to talk openly about things, and today I almost missed that opportunity. I noticed that she started wearing these tight bracelets on her wrists, and asked her about a small scar I saw. She said it was the cat and I believed her. Today must have been a rough day for her. She asked if we could talk, and she just showed me her arms. I was very supportive, and listened, she cried in my arms a bit, and just let some stuff out. She is a great kid, honor student, pretty, but doesnt believe it. Its hard for her to make friends. She lives with me and her mom (alternate nights) her mom lives five minutes away. She is going through typical fourteen year old girl stuff, and sometimes a very very bad attitude. She feels like she doesnt belong here or there. She has a seven year old sister and three year old brother (from me and her step mom). She said she cant promise she will stop because it is becoming very addictive, but said she will really try. She says it has only been going on for about two weeks. She saw a Therapist for a little while, because she was pulling her hair out, biting her nails, nervously tapping her fingers, now this. Her pulling eventually stopped (i think, i believe her)Nail biting she still does, and finger tapping. I have my own obssesive compulsive issues. I dont know what to ask or what to do. Somebody please advise me.
i waz a cutter for about 3yrz nd i guess it waz bkuz i felt like nobody cared about me nd how i felt about ne thing. my parents would tell me i waz krazie nd that it waz my own fault, which only made me wana cut more nd as a result from that my arms are permanently scarred. i kept doing it though until my sophomore yr of high skl which iz whr i met my best frend the yr b4. he helpd me stop nd he made me feel like more than what my family ever did nd now were frendz 4 life…so my suggestion 2 cutterz iz this, find a friend who helps yu by listenin, nt labeling and shows they care about yu evn wen yu dnt care about urself
I have been a cutter since I was 10 years old. I started cutting because I was in a lot of pain. I have been abused in one way or another my entire life. It was just a way to get rid of my pain. The problem is that I can’t stop now. I have had this problem for years. I thought that I was over it, but the other day I was sitting in our community center, and someone pulled out a knife and I went crazy. All that I could think about was cutting and how good it would be.
I really need some help. Everyone is controling everything in my life and i find my self slipping closer and closer to my razor again. one of my friends told me that my life could be so much worse and its true it can. but i don’t know if i’m just being a baby about everything. i mean i don’t have any like major problems. but my problems are big to me. i just become so scared and depressed sometimes. i really need to talk to someone but no one will liston or cares.
I am 14, and a cutter. I have gone to my school counsiler about my depression I was feeling. That was a complete waste of my time. I hurt all the time, I have thought about “commiting” and came close to it as well. I don’t want to cut anymore because I feel disgusted about myself when I do. I only wonder what my future lover will say,”You’re a freak!” “I can’t believe you were and emo!” “No one’s going to want you because of these disgusting scars all over your body!”
And, I don’t want to die either, because I come from a religious family and I’m athiest. They always tell me how I will go to hell because I don’t believe in god.
I live a hard life and I hate that I live it. Ask anyone and I’m the happiest person they ever met, I hate the mask I wear. And now, depression is dragging me down, I’m loosing all of my friends, and I doubt they even care that I hurt myself.
What is the ethical practice for school counselors, regarding notifying a parent, who work with students who used to cut but say they don’t cut any more?
I’ve been cutting for three years now (I started when I was 13) and I’ve become addicted as well as some of the other people who have commented on this. I want to stop, but whenever I try it just doesn’t seem to work >.>
My cutting isn’t that bad, because I don’t do it often, and I hadn’t done it a lot when I did, but lately it’s been more occurring and there are deeper cuts.
My parents are no help because last time they found out about it they told me that if they ever saw that again they’d take me out of public school, and put me into private school (I have social anxiety and confrontational problems). If they did that it would be so much worse, and almost anyone who I can talk to about it (meaning the people who know) will either yell at me for doing it, call me stupid for doing it, or just get sad because they don’t want me to do it. I also have a problem with making my friends sad or angry, so that just upsets me more, and yeah. And I can’t talk to anyone else about it because they will all either judge me or tell my parents about it. So basically my issue is, I have no one to talk to about it who won’t tear me apart emotionally.
So I just keep doing it.
I cut for a long time….at first it was just when i was angry. But then it become all the time….I didn’t know all the time why i did. But it felt like it was almost impossible to stop. And the whole learning from peers i dont think is true…cause i do it on my hip. and ya..
First off, welldone on the very useful and well worded infomation. Too many websites make light of such a serious problem, or the texting is very uninformative.
I started cutting at the age of 11, and have bascially been hooked for 10 years. Through my teens I was sent to a young person’s mental unit as an inpatient because of it. Reading through these posts I see so many simular cases. I would like to sayd “I’ve not cut for x-amount” of time but I have an awful habit of falling back into it.
Its awful to be accused of wanting attention, I myself never made any attempt to show my cuts or scars off. I know there are many genuine troubled people who do this to cope.. sadly there are some of those out there who will do it for attention, which really gives those who are struggling, often a bad outlook when seeking help.
My school counsellor (who I saw after 4 years of cutting) was a total gem, She did her best. I’ve seen numerous psychs and doctors about this, and Its something that at 21 now, I am having CBT therapy for.
I know there are people out there who can break the hold of self harm, So I think we should all try to remember that.
I started having problems with cutting when I was 11 or 12. I figured out later it was related to severe sexual abuse that I suffered as a child. I am 47 years old now and I still struggle with this at times as well as a lot of other stuff. I went to counseling as a teen and again in my 30s and again later but none for the past 6 years. Does it ever go away?
I’m 17 years old, and I started cutting about a year ago. I’ve never been abused or have had anything really bad happen in my life, but this year I just got really really depressed. Cutting was working for me, and it allowed me to function on a regular day-to-day basis without letting anyone know that something was wrong. Eventually my mom found out, and though at the time it was the worst thing ever, it ended up being a good thing. Since then I’ve been to programs at two different psychiatric hospitals, and I am currently going to therapy once a week. I’ve come a long way since then and even went a whole month and two days without cutting, which, for me, felt like the biggest accomplishment. When I stopped cutting, I felt so much better emotionally, but I ended up going back to it and I still don’t know why. Now I am cutting again and I think I’m okay with that. Maybe it’s because it makes me feel like a superhero that I can injure myself without feeling the pain, or because I’m not ready to give up that part of my life yet. I guess my advice for anyone new to SI is to stop now, before you’re so addicted that it seems nearly impossible, and to those who are trying to stop just take it one day at a time and if you’re on a long stretch of no SI, don’t go back to it. I wish I could follow my own advice, but good luck to everyone else out there. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
I first cut a year and a half ago. It was the summer holidays, and I was all alone. I made myself a knife out of scoobies and a blade from my craft knife. I only cut a feew times that summer, then I put the knife away for a year.
At the beginning of this year I started again, and it got to the point where I would cut every day when I got home from school. I was too scared to cut deeply, so the scars were never really obvious, but I felt really sick the whole time – but I couldn’t stop. I was obsessed.
Ash Wednesday came and I made a lenten promise never to cut again. I kept that promise – the letter, but not the spirit. I would use my fingernails or penlids to scratch at my wrist. I was addicted. I would leave classes to get my fix.
Eventually one of my friends caught me and told me to stop. If that had been it, I don’t know if I would have been able to. But then she started crying and my heart started bleeding. And since then I haven’t selfharmed, although there have been many times that i’ve stared at a penlid, WANTING to scratch – but I didn’t. I’ve been ‘clean’ for almost two months now. It’s hard, but it’s manageable. You can beat it. If you feel like you want to cut, try ripping up a piece of paper, or scratching the edge of the desk. ANything to relieve the urge without actually doing somethign to yourself.
God bless, you can do it…