Parenting takes time and practice. Parents who become familiar with a variety of parenting discipline strategy and techniques successfully learned implemented by other parents are on their way to becoming a better parent. This article will assist parents in learning the “key discipline” techniques that may be used at home with children in an age span from toddlers to teens. Parents who have a desire to learn new discipline techniques and are consistent in educating themselves throughout their child’s developments will most often feel a sense of peace and well-being with their parenting style.
If you are having difficulty disciplining your child, it is important to remember that you may not be doing anything wrong. All children are different and have different temperaments and developmental levels and a style of discipline that may work with other children may not work with yours.
You should understand that how you behave when disciplining your child will help to determine how your child is going to behave or misbehave in the future. If you give in after your child repeatedly argues, becomes violent or has a temper tantrum, then he will learn to repeat this behavior because he knows you may eventually give in (even if it is only once in a while that you do give in). If you are firm and consistent then he will learn that it doesn’t pay to fight doing what he is eventually going to have to do anyway. Some children, however, will feel like they won if they put off doing something that they didn’t want to do for even a few minutes.
Be consistent in your methods of discipline and how you punish your child. This applies to all caregivers. It is normal for children to test their limits, and if you are inconsistent in what these limits are, then you will be encouraging more misbehavior.
Key Discipline Reminders
* Stay calm and do not get carried away when your child misbehaves. Avoid yelling and screaming, since
this can teach your child that it is all right to lose control if you don’t get your way. If you feel like things are escalating too much, then take a break until you can regain your composure.
* Avoid too much criticism. Make sure your child understands that it is the misbehavior that you are unhappy with and that you will always love him.
* Avoid too much praise. You don’t need to be continuously praising your child, especially for routine activities, because it will make your comments less effective.
* Don’t focus on negatives all of the time, especially when offering positive reinforcement. It is much better to say ‘I like that you put all of your clothes away,’ instead of saying ‘I like that, for once, you finally got around to putting your clothes away without my asking.’
* Avoid physical punishment. Spanking has never been shown to be more effective than other forms of punishment and will make your child more aggressive and angry.
* Remember to give rewards and praise for good behavior.
* Understand the difference between rewards and bribes. A reward is something your child receives after he has done something, while a bribe is given beforehand, to try and motivate your child to do what you want. Bribes should be avoided.
* Be a good role model.
* Most importantly, provide your child with a safe environment in which he feels secure and loved.
Successful Discipline Techniques
# Use distraction to get your child’s attention away from inappropriate behaviors.
# Stop inappropriate behaviors with a firm ‘no’ while looking your child in the eyes.
# Physically move your child when he is misbehaving, especially if he didn’t respond to your firm ‘no.’
# Use extinction to remove attention from undesirable actions. As long as your child can’t hurt himself, you can walk away and not give him attention or an audience for acting inappropriately, especially if he is having a temper tantrum. Giving too much attention to your child when he misbehaves can reinforce bad behaviors.
# Use natural consequences (rewards) to let your child learn the results or consequences of his actions. For example, if he throws a toy out the window, then he can’t play with it anymore.
# Use logical consequences (rewards), for example, if he doesn’t put away his bike, then you will do it, but he won’t be able to ride it for the rest of the day. For older children, not filling the car with gas can have the consequence of not getting to use the car this week, etc.
# Use time-out to remove positive reinforcement or attention when he misbehaves.
# Withholding privileges is a very effective discipline technique, especially for older children. Find things that he likes or especially enjoys (playing video games, renting movies, going to the mall, talking on the phone), and then take it away as a consequence for misbehaving.
