Common Causes of Eating Disorders From Illness Victims & Family Members

The causes of eating disorders are numerous and complex. This article attempts to break down the causes for the reader from individuals who have or work with individuals who have eating disorders. Readers must note that they should not identify with only one of the causes described in this article due to the fact that most eating disorders are caused by numerous factors combined.

Love of Self & Love from Others

One students shared the following:  “In addition, my dad works a full time job. I only see him a couple of hours in the evening and on the weekends. My mom also works full time. And my sisters have moved out. So I guess I was feeling left out and alone. The only person I’m really close to in my family is my mother. My dad has only recently tried to get close to me. But it just feels too late. My dad is like a stranger to me.”

Please Listen to Me!

One teen shared the following:  “Nobody ever listens to me! nobody! I am always alone and left out! Rejected! My parents loving, caring or were they! No, they didn’t care about me at all! I never fit in even at my own house! Everyone but me! My parents, though, must be very happy! They never wanted me to fit in! I also think that maybe ballet took part in this terrible thing! So much competition to be thin and lean! My dance teacher actually told me that I couldn’t eat after I danced, or before a class because she didn’t want to see what I ate for lunch!”

How Do I Communicate My Feelings?

One female college student shared the following:  “I don’t know really what my parents could have done to prevent this other than sitting down with me when I was younger to talk about weight and how it is what matters on the inside. I do know for myself I could have communicated my feelings better, stop the cycle of trying to please everyone else, and actually let myself feel pain and hurt emotions rather than stuffing them inside and letting my eating disorder become my viscous cycle of releasing my emotions.”

How Do I Validate My Feelings?

From an 8th grade girl:  “I don’t blame my parents for my disease but I never felt that I could go to them with my concerns or problems. If I cried their advise was to get a grip and deal with it. They had very high expectations and were very critical of anything they did not approve of ( friends, actions, looks, behaviors).”

Relationships With Others

From a parent of a child who has an eating disorder:  “Parents who are workaholics and who have a problem meeting obligations to their children (i.e. appointments with teachers, awards ceremonies, sports events etc.) often make them feel less important and unapproved of. Children in these situations may feel as though no one is there for them and may turn to other means of coping with problems.”

Food

From a medical doctor:  “Too many times food is used as a reward. A child does something good, gets a good report card, does what they are told, succeeds in a sport, etc., and then immediately gets to go to McDonalds for dinner, go out for ice-cream, or have some candy or some kind of treat. There are much better ways to reward children: Hugs and kisses and statements such as “I’m proud of you!”; taking them to a special event they want to go to (baseball game, concert, carnival, circus, movies); taking them out to buy something special related to the achievement (book, art supplies, sports equipment, computer game); spending time doing something special with them (build a model, do a puzzle, color, build with Legos, play cards, read a book, make up a story). There are a plethora of other options as opposed to giving them something to eat!”

Media & Society

From a classroom teacher:  “From early-on children are taught by society that their looks matter. Think of the three and four year old who is continuously praised for being “oh so cute”. With an increased population of children who spend a lot of time in front of television, there are more of them coming up with a superficial sense of who they are. Images on T.V. spend countless hours telling us to lose weight, be thin and beautiful, buy more stuff because people will like us and we’ll be better people for it. Programming on the tube rarely depicts men and women with “average” body-types or crappy clothes, ingraining in the back of all our minds that this is the type of life we want. Overweight characters are typically portrayed as lazy, the one with no friends, or “the bad guy”, while thin women and pumped-up men are the successful, popular, sexy and powerful ones. How can we tell our children that it’s what’s inside that counts, when the media continuously contradicts this message?”

Abusive Habits

From a county social worker:  “Children who have been abused more often end up in relationships where they are abused. Victims of domestic abuse often repeatedly get back into similar situations of abuse. Both come to the conclusion that hitting and emotional assault equals love, and that this must be what they deserve. Both can suffer with depression, anxiety, drug addiction, alcoholism and eating disorders.

In an attempt to gain control victims of abuse may try to drastically control their weight. There may be a sense that if they were thinner it would make the abuser happy and they would stop hurting them. They may starve themselves of food over the feeling that they don’t deserve anything good. They may attempt to fill a void they feel inside by eating, or may look to a binge as a way to stuff down their hurt and anger. They may see food as their only friend, the one that won’t turn on them — or — they may look to control their surroundings through the only means that seems possible, by restricting their food intake. Victims may purge to release their emotions, or to punish themselves for enjoying something they don’t feel they deserve (food, love). Food can become a weapon to gain control and a friend that won’t hurt them. It can also be a way to forget the pain.”