All parents often search for some helpful hints to improve their relationship with their child before, during and after a discipline issue arises. ScottCounseling established some helpful parenting guidelines that most parents can agree upon. Parenting and child development specialist recommend that parents meet often to discuss expectations, values and family guidelines with their child and how missed expectations will be handled . Here are some helpful suggestions that often lead to successful outcomes.
- Try to set a side time on a regular basis to do something fun with your child. Allow your child to be in on the planning. Developing a good relationship with a child before a discipline issue arises will make solving the problem with the child easier. Never give an order, request, or command without being able to teach or assist the child when he or she needs help.Be consistent. Reward or correct the behavior in the same time-frame and manner as much as possible.Communicate and agree on what behaviors are desirable and not desirable.Team with a more mature child on how to respond to an undesirable behavior. Discuss consequences; both good and bad.
Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect to do or correct the behavior if he or she performs at an undesirable level.Make it very clear what undesirable behavior occurred. I t is not enough to say, “Your room is messy.” Messy should be specified in terms of exactly what is meant: “You’ve left dirty clothes on the floor, dirty plates on your desk, and your bed is not made.”
Once you have stated your position and the child attacks that position, do not keep defending yourself. Just restate the position once more and then stop responding to the attacks.
Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Make positive comments when the behavior is coming closer to the desired goal.
Remember that your behavior serves as a model for your children’s behavior.
When you are disciplining the child and the other parent enters the room, that other person should not step in on the argument in progress. Discuss this option with your partner before you implement this technique.
Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal communication, positive touch or something that builds the relationship (i.e. making cookies together).
Both parents (when possible) should have an equal share in the responsibility of discipline as much as possible.
Never disagree about discipline techniques in front of the children with another adult. Go to a private room and team together to come up with possible solutions.
Strengthening the child-parent relationship is possible even when the situation with the child is not positive. Consistency is key. Love, of course, is the answer!
