Handling Holiday Stress

2008 January 28 by: Scott

Holidays can be a stressful and difficult time for many individual and families. Family traditions and gatherings bring about excitement and joy for many individuals. But for some, the holidays bring extra stress and exhaustion. ScottCounseling recognizes child psychology author, Christopher Williams, for supplying the reader with some helpful holiday “stress-release” tips.

Sleigh bells are jingling, tree lights are twinkling and shoppers are crowding into the stores. Warm greetings are given, carolers are singing and families are gathering once more. Once again it is the Christmas season. For many it is the best of times; a time to anticipate celebration, tradition, and holiday cheer. But for others, it is the worst of times as the added stress of the holidays strips away any sense of joy or hopes for more than just managing to survive the demands of the month.

Welcome to one of the highest stress periods of the year. We greet this season with visions of our childhood ideals dancing in our heads. A collection of “Kodak moments” form our expectations for bountiful feasts, warm hearted sharing with family and friends, and peace on earth for all. Visions of Christmas cards all mailed, gifts purchased, cookies baked, and concerts attended fill our heads. Thoughts of cheery “Merry Christmas” wishes to strangers, extra time spent with our children, spouses, friends and relatives, and some self-indulgence for ourselves in the joys of the season warm our hearts. With these images forming our plan for pursuing the perfect holidays, we greet the season with high hopes.
Unfortunately, the reality of our lives often follows a different script. The best laid plans are overturned by a child who finally remembers he needs to take twelve dozen cookies to school in the morning along with the Christmas play costume he also forgot to mention. Friends all choose the same night for dinner parties, and the choice becomes whose feelings to hurt. The checkbook shows empty way too soon, the work load intensifies in a rush to get too many projects done before the end of the year, and the hours slip away in a blur.
The sheer number of demands made on us through the holiday season is more than enough to keep most of us at the edge of our stress threshold. Our stress threshold is that uniquely individual point when we become overstressed and exceed our coping capabilities.
When we look at stress as the dynamic tension between these external events, demands, and relationships and the hopes, expectations, and desires for an idealized perfect holiday season coming out of our internal learning; it is easy to see how the season feels so stressful. The realities of the way the days unfold continuously threaten our expectations for everything to be perfect. The message we hear somewhere deep inside is that if we were good enough it would be perfect. Suddenly every little event over which we have no control, is threatening our sense of self and controlling how we feel.
The stress response is engaged over and over again with no opportunity for rest. Warm feelings toward our fellow shoppers quickly shift from well wishing to just wishing they would go somewhere else as we battle for parking spaces and places in line. The anticipation of holiday cheer with friends and family is replaced by angry tension. And credit cards hit their limits in the effort to redeem the perfect holiday season with more expensive gifts.