Depending on your holiday traditions, its common parents and children go through a range of emotions during these times. For some, it’s a non-stop run, hustle and “got-to-do-it-all” time. For others, it’s a time just to reflect on “meaning.” ScottCounseling again wants to recognized the work of Dr. Robin Goodman who will lead you, the parent, though some words of wisdom to consider while bringing meaning to holiday gift-giving to your child.
Gifts that Bring Meaning
For parents, the joys of the winter holidays are often tempered by the commercial focus of the season, and gift giving is complicated by well-intentioned or guilty feelings. Children’s catalogs are stuffed into mailboxes; lists touting the best toys of the year fill magazines, and commercials marketing the hottest toys tantalize youngsters. Although the sales pitches are seductive and the spirit of the festive season contagious, many parents still wonder what approach is best when buying presents.
In order to make the holidays more fun and the gifts more meaningful, keep in mind the following tips:
1. Remember the age of the child. Certain toys and gifts are suitable for children of specific ages. Manufacturers often provide accurate suggested age ranges on toys or store clerks know what appeals to children at different ages. But in addition to the gift itself, consider the reaction of the child receiving the gift. Toddlers revel in tearing wrapping paper but may ignore the gift inside. Overwhelming them with a large variety of gifts is thus unnecessary and unappreciated. Preschoolers love to open presents that are identified as theirs alone. They may especially enjoy a series of small surprises or gifts that involve activity either a game to be played alone or in a group. Older children, however, pay more attention to the gift itself and the culture surrounding particular “hot” gifts, thus they may appreciate a few specifically requested gifts. Regardless of their age, all children may need help maintaining realistic expectations about what they will receive.
2. Remember the temperamental style of the child. Children reveal their own particular temperament from birth onward. They are often consistently more shy, active, or easy going. Holiday time and present opening can throw these styles into overdrive, with children of different temperaments coping with and approaching the fuss and festivities in individual ways. Some children become overwhelmed by too much stimulation. Halfway through a pile of gifts they may break into tears just when their parents expect smiles. Moving on to another activity or spacing out the gift giving times may help modulate the stress. Other children may become fussy and short-tempered as Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa approach. Some children become uncomfortable with the change in routine while others can be worried about how their behavior will be judged, thinking they are to be rewarded or punished at the holiday. A surprise treat given before the holiday can help an anxious child wait. Focusing on non-gift activities, involving children in the preparations, and keeping some semblance of a routine schedule can also help diminish the tension.
