Does your parenting philosophy include the responsibility of having to make uncomfortable decisions for your children and family? You are not alone as a parent or an adult when it comes to feeling uncomfortable in telling someone, especially a child, “No.”
More and more parents are searching for a way to tell their child, “No.” Saying “no” is important. Numerous youth surveys indicate that children expect adults to say “no.” Here some considerations that parents need to make while considering telling their child “no.”
Tell your child that some of your answers will be “yes” and some answers will be “no.”
Tell yourself that it’s okay to tell your child “no.”
Your child is going to hear the word “no” from teachers, coaches, youth pastors, other parents, friends, relatives, store personnel, bus drivers, neighbors and other human beings.
Let your child know that when you say “no” that it does not mean that you do not love him or her. Most children who hear this word tend to develop more respect for their parent because:
- children begin to respect those who charge,
- say what they mean,
- mean what they say, and
- “no” often means you really do care!
Be brief. It’s not necessary for you, the parent, to preach a long sermon or rationalize your “no” to avoid feeling guilt or allowing your child an open door to manipulate.
- Don’t tell your child “no” when the real answer should be, “I will give you my answer in 10 minutes. I am busy now. I want time to think.” You are not a baseball umpire having to make an immediate call at the plate. Saying “no” should make sense to you, even though it may not make sense to the child.
- If your child wants to argue with you regarding your decision to say “no,” walk away.
- Be clear, brief, state your limits! Set some limits with the word “no.”
- Your word is final. Fell good about that! As a parent, it is your responsibility to make decisions for your child. Yes, by law, your teenis a child. You are legally responsibly if you tell your child:
“Yes, it okay to break curfew.”
“Yes, it’s okay not to go to school.”
“Yes, you can drink alcohol at home.” Say “NO!”
