Teen help programs that suggest peer or parent mediation often leads teen conflicts and child disputes to a positive outcome or resolution. Mediation is a process that involves a neutral party or person that leads others in conflict to discuss their concerns in a civil manner and brings about a plan that can be implemented to resolve the dispute. Below are some simple steps to help teens, siblings or others in conflict to meet and resolve their conflict.
Step One: Agreements that must be made for mediation to be successful
Mediator asks each disputant if s/he would like to try mediation and if s/he agrees to follow the mediation guidelines.
1. Be respectful
- let other person tell his/her story without interruption
- no name-calling, put-downs, threats or arguing
2. Be responsible
- put effort into solving the problem
- be honest
Step Two: Listen to both sides of the story
1. Mediator asks each disputant to share his/her perspective, feelings and outcome goal(s).
2. Mediator asks each disputant to tell his/her understanding of the other person’s perspective, feelings and outcome goal(s).
3. Mediator briefly restates each disputant’s perspective feelings, and outcome goal(s).
Step Three: Come up with create solutions
1. Mediator asks each disputant to brainstorms solutions
that will help Person 1 get (outcome goal) and Person 2 get (outcome goal).
2. Each disputant needs identify things that s/he could do
and things that the other person could do.
Step Four: Decide on a plan
1. Mediator asks disputants to choose/create a solution.
2. Mediator summarizes the solution.
3. Disputants sign a written agreement if used.
