“Dear ScottCounseling:
I think my teen is starting to date. What should I do? I do not want to spy on my child, but I want to know who she is with and what they are doing. Can you help?”
This is a common email question sent to ScottCounseling, Ask a Counselor, from parents who are concerned about their teenager. This article will provide you with some simple, but yet important staps to consider as your teen approaches or enters “the dating years.”
It’s important to communicate regularly with your teen. Avoid nagging or interegating your teen. Relationship building is key. Below is a list of ten communication tips while you begin dialoging with your teen:
1. Start early- Begin speaking with your child at an early age about dating.
2. Initiate conversations- with your teen about what they see on TV, movies and what they hear from their friends.
3. Initiate conversations with your teen regarding sex and sexuality. If youneed help in this area, call your child’s school counselor and ask to see the school’s sexulaity curriculum.
4. Create an open environment- ne that prmotes and build trust.
5. Communicate your values.
6. Listen to your child.
7. Be honest.
8. Be patient.
9. Use everyday opportunities to talk.
10. Talk about it, again. And again.
Specific tips for parents to consider regarding teen dating:
1. Monitor your teen.
2. Know whom your teen is dating.
3. Invite your child’s “date” to a family dinner.
4. Offer to drive.
5. Encourage dating in groups. One-to-one dating is not advised until age sixteen.
6. Know where your teen is going on a date and what he/she plans to do. Set guidelines for where, when and how often your teen goes on dates.
7. Be clear about your family values about dating.
8. Set clear rules about curfew, communicating when plans change, expectations for drivers.
