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This is a very interesting subject in a marriage. When you have not engaged in a physical act of sex with a third person, have you cheated on your partner? Should pornography be considered infidelity in a marriage? Pornography is a big in our culture and growing like a weed. Growing in this culture, young boys grow up with an impression that women are sexy when they look a certain way. And, young girls grow up with an impression that they are perceived as sexy by men if they look, dress, or act a certain way. Pornography is a means to fueling the fire that men were sub-consciously grew up to desire.
Aging plus with all the responsibilities of a marriage can certainly change the looks of man and a woman and the appeal to go with it over time. An average woman does not look like a porn star. Family, childbirth, and life experiences can certainly change a youthful look of a young beautiful woman. Even though still beautiful, the loss of their former self often leaves women feeling inferior. And the same can be said for the men. Likewise, men were once strong and dashing in their youth. As time goes by, their strong and dashing youth has changed to “beer” belly, bald head, and often leaves them feeling unattractive. Both psychological and physical changes can leave emptiness that once filled with vibrant youth. Does this justify turning to porn?
Men often will indulge in porn to recapture the feelings of being younger and enjoying sex. To find out if pornography is fine in your marriage, just ask one question- how your partner would feel about it:
• Would it make them feel ugly, hurt, deceived, or lied to? If yes then porn has to stop.
• Would it make them feel that they are replaced by a fantasy lover? This make believe world will destroy your real world.
• Above all you need think that you are funding an exploitation of someone’s daughter who has fallen on hard times and made a wrong turn.
• If you view pornography in secret then you are already aware that your partner will feel bad and marriage will have serious problems.
• If have replaced your partner with viewing pornography to get sexual gratification then it is clear that pornography is harmful in your marriage and should be considered infidelity.
After your marriage, the only person you should be receiving sexual pleasure from is your spouse. Marriage units two people in a unique bond in which respect, love, trust, and intimacy exist together. Love and respect is something that is shared between relatives, friends, and children. Similarly trust is also shared with other people in your life. But the sexual intimacy is the only thing that is special and reserved only for your spouse. When you seek sexual satisfaction some where else, you leave your spouse feeling rejected, betrayed, and inadequate.
In summary, any kind of pornography; going to strip clubs, looking at magazines or at internet porn will invade your sanctity of marriage and ultimately tear it apart. And by the way do not try to rationalize it by saying that every one does it. The truth is- everyone does not do it because most people recognize that it is not harmless.
Rakesh offers mind-body and relationship wellness advices and practical suggestions in healing physical, emotional, and spiritual self.
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