The art and science of decision-making…
Parents who allow their child to be a part of the family decision-making process are on their way to helping their child to become a good decision maker. Parents who model good decision-making techniques in front of their children are helping their child succeed in a world that requires decision-making in almost every aspect of a person’s life. As always, good parenting involves the recognition of a child’s developmental age and maturity level upon applying any parenting strategy. Consider the following decision-making techniques. Before you try any of them with your child, you try using the strategy or technique yourself.
- Discuss with your child that you feel he or she is at a stage in their life that they are capable of making “this” decision. Take time to discuss the decision that they have made, what they feel the outcome will be and what options they have if their decision is correct, or incorrect.
- Children (in all age groups) need positive options. From the options that you present, the child can select or make a decision. Example: The child wants to have a birthday party. You make a list of the types of food that can be served at the party. Ask the child to select five different food items out of the ten presented on the list.
- Spend time discussing the pros and cons of the available options before making any final decisions. For example: You child is being teased at school. Write down all the options that the child use to respond to the teasing. If the child says, “I can hit the boy doing the teasing,” you may respond by asking, “What will happen if you hit the boy?”
- Ask your child what he or she learned from their decision.
- If necessary and appropriate, set a time limit for your child to make a decision.
- If your child is unable to make a decision on his or her own, discuss options, best and worse case scenarios and what feelings are affecting their decision-making process.
- Ask your child, “What advice would you give your friend if he or she was in your situation?”
- If you child is having a difficult time making a decision after you provided options, say to the child, “It seems that you are having a difficult time making a decision. Do you need more time, information, or help?
Decision-making skills improve with practice. If you are a parent that has to micro-manage (or feel like you have to have constant control of) your child, begin small. Let your child help you make a decision on what color his or her bedroom should be painted. As the parent, you pick out three or four colors acceptable to you. Allow your child to make the final selection.
