”Disciplinarian: one who disciples, guides, and disciplines or enforces order.”
The word disciple mean to disciple or guide. “Discipline” is not a bad word, it’s a good word! One of the key components in parenting is to guide or disciple a child. This article will help you, the parent, become educated in learning seven principles or steps in disciplining your child.
1. Make Parenting Your First Priority.
It’s vital that your child knows that you’re going to follow through in parenting. When you inform a child what a punishment will be, and then don’t follow through, you will have less credibility the next time you discipline your child. Make a commitment to parenting and disciplining your child.
2. Be Realistic of Your Child’s Ability Level
Avoid requesting your child to do anything he or she is incapable of doing. Make sure that the behavior expectation for your child is age-appropriate. Child development experts and authors can provide you with discipline strategies and techniques that are age-appropriate. Parents who become realistic about their child’s behavioral ability level often have less frustrated children who learn to listen and cooperate.
3. Define What Your Child Values
Discover what your child values or covets. Younger children often value a favorite toy, television program or place to go. Older children often value a cell phone (or other electronics), time with their friends and “freedom.” When you control what the child values, needs and depends on, you control the behavior that allows the child to get what he or she desires. Once you understand what your child values, you can withdraw the positive items (taking away the toy, video game) or introduce negative things (making them take a time-out, lose an activity) as a form of discipline. Younger children quickly learn that appropriate behavior brings what they value. Inappropriate behavior or actions results in a loss of what is valued.
4. Use Age Appropriate Language With Your Child
Share behavior expectations with your child with words that he or she will understand. Take the time to explain and reason with your child. Stay calm and remember that the “disciplining parent” is also the “teaching parent.” Strive to avoid using high school words with your toddler or elementary child, and avoid using toddler and elementary words with your middle school and high school child.
5. Provide Your Children Consistent and Predictable Consequences.
It’s important to help your child to understand that a negative consequence will result from inappropriate behavior. Likewise, positive consequences will be applied when positive behavior occurs. It’s crucial that your child learn to feel that he or she has control over the behaviors that they chose to display their life.
6. Catch Your Child Doing Something Good
To often we are quick to catch our child doing something wrong. We jump on it. We talk and we apply a penalty or punishment. Parents must be just as swift and quick to catch their child doing something positive. Just as it’s important to be consistent and predictable when a child acts inappropriately, we must also be consistent and predictable when we observe our child behaving appropriately. Telling the child, “I like the way your handle that,” or “Your good behavior is not going unnoticed” often gets more positive results in the future then continually finding fault or just catching your child when he or she does something wrong.
7. Guilt Free Parenting
It’s appropriate when a parent becomes informed, educated and searches for answers to improve disciplinarian techniques. It’s not appropriate, however, to replace this valuable time to learn with guilt for mistakes made or living through the upset emotions your child may be experiencing while they experience a negative consequence. Parent is tough work. It is also rewarding work. All parents make mistakes and have regrets. Turn these mistakes into lessons for your own personal parenting improvement program. Avoid allowing guilt to keep you from growing as a person and as a parent.
You have many helpful ideas! Maybe I should consider doing this by myself.