There are many different causes to sibling rivalry. Most brothers and sisters experience some degree of jealousy or competition, and this can lead to squabbles and bickering. But other factors also might influence how often kids fight and how severe the fighting gets. These include:
Changing Needs
It’s natural for kids’ changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will, which they’ll do at every turn. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler’s toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence the way kids fight with one another.
Individual Moods and Personal Styles
Mood, disposition, and adaptability — and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, if one child is laid back and another is easily rattled, they may often get into it. Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings who see this and want the same amount of attention.
Special Needs and Considerations
Sometimes, a child’s special needs due to illness or learning/emotional issues may require more parental time. Other kids may pick up on this disparity and act out to get attention or out of fear of what’s happening to the other child.
Simulating Parent Behavior
The way that parents resolve problems and disagreements sets a strong example for kids. So if you and your spouse work through conflicts in a way that’s respectful, productive, and not aggressive, you increase the chances that your children will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another. If your kids see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when you have problems, they’re likely to pick up those bad habits themselves.
This was the greatest thing i have ever read. I am a teenager myself and have a younger sister, and i want my peace and independence. I am usually a pretty laid back quiet person, and my sister is the exact opposite; She is loud and loves attention. So when i want it quiet and she is being obnoxious i have these anxiety attacks and end up agressivly screaming at her, and i always feel bad after i do it because i know that i have no right to yell at her, but i feel that i was raised that way. My parrents are divorced right now, and when they were married they would fight all the time. It was non stop arguing in my families household. My dad would become very anrgy very easily, and would end up being very agressive and would scream and yell at me for long periods of time about the most rediculous things. I remember one time he grounded me for not putting my gloves on before i walked out the door, or not getting up fast enough for him, or for spitting outside. He would pick me up while he was screaming at me, take me upstairs, set me on my parrents bed, and would shout at me for about and hour at a time. I know that he was treated like that as a child, but I don’t want to end up that way. I feel like I am carrying a bad example down the family even further, and would like some advise on how I can control my anger because now some my close friends have noticed it and I want to make it better. Another reason I may feel like this is that I am insecure about myself. I am a senior in high school now and I am only 115 lbs. I come from a family of short skinny people, and they are all hard asses, and i dont know if they all feel the same way i do. But too many people feel that they should take their agression out on me because they feel that i am a defensless little bitch, and i guess thats another reason why i am so pissed off all the time. I joined the wrestling team back in 8th grade to try and beef up a little bit, and it has helped some, but I just need some other advise on how i can control my anger so i dont resolve my problems in such a negative way like every one else in my family.