Author and Parenting Life Coach, Barbara Desmarais, shares her insights and thoughtful remedies for sibling rivalries. Children who learn early in life to respect other family members often grow up to respect others outside of the family as well. Children are no different than us adult, we all do things for a reason. Helping our children reason out the best solutions for conflicts with other sibling in the family provides life long lessons.
How I can Stop My Children From Fighting
For some of us who grew up with siblings we have vivid memories of how our parents
handled fighting. Some of us remember always being the one who was blamed;
others remember everyone being punished regardless of who the instigator was and
some of us remember our parent getting so angry, the fighting only escalated. Over
the years, I’ve often heard adults say they still hold a grudge against their sibling.
What can we do to ensure our children grow up respecting and liking each other?
If we study the behavior of a variety of different species in nature, we can clearly see
the root of sibling rivalry. In essence the cause is competition for limited or scarce
resources. In a family, each child has the need and desire for the EXCLUSIVE love
of his/her parent. Children depend on us for everything – food, shelter and the very
important need to feel SPECIAL. Feelings of anger, jealousy and resentment are all
normal among siblings.
