Scott Counseling» Child Development

Developmental Stages For Children: The First Five Years of Life

Scott — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 16:51:30 +0000

It’s important for parents to become aware of the “normal” developmental stages in a child’s life. This is especially true for children who are progressing through the first five years of growth and development. This article provides parents with child development traits, characteristics and human growth and development patterns to look for before and as your child enters school.

According to the Parents Involved Network, children should be progressing through the following age development stages in life:

6 Month Old Child

rolls from stomach to back reaches for toy
transfers toy from one hand to other
looks for noise made near him or her
makes sounds for specific reasons (hunger, wet, etc.)
helps hold bottle while drinking
plays with toes
pats mirror image
puts everything in his or her mouth
follows toys when held in front of eyes and moved

1 Year Old Child

sits without support
pulls to stand
crawls on all fours
understands “no” and “bye-bye”
repeats sounds made by others
feeds self cookies (may not be neat)
waves bye-bye
shy with strangers
turns pages of book (more than one at a time)

2 Year Old Child

walks well
carries toy while walking
speaks several understandable words
refers to self by name
recognizes self in mirror
feeds self with spoon (may spill)
drinks from a cup
occupies self in play
plays with an adult
builds a tower of blocks
shows body parts (eyes, nose, foot) when asked

My Child Asks Too Many Questions!

Scott — Sun, 04 May 2008 18:43:49 +0000

Does your child ask the same question over and over again? Does your child keep asking you for something until you give up and give in? Child behavior and parenting coach Traci Gaffney has a different parenting perspective on responding to a child’s questions. Maybe parents should be grateful that children come to the parent with their “asking” voice. Children do go through a developmental phase when they ask more questions. Whether it’s to manipulate or to learn, at least they are asking.

Ask Six Times!

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” W.C. Fields

We have all heard this quote before. Last year I was in a personal growth course where they said, “Ask six times.” It made me think of this quote, and also caused me to wonder why most people do not ask several times, and why we train our children to stop asking.

Think about it for a moment … when your kids ask for something, how many times do you “allow” them to ask before getting upset and annoyed? Is it once, twice, three times? Could it be SIX times? Probably not. We actually teach our children NOT to ask, not to persist, not to persevere to get what they want. I’m not talking about being harassing or making demands. I’m talking about healthy requests, asking for what they want. If you think about it, this is exactly what happened to us. We were told to stop asking.

Keeping that in mind, I would ask you to consider to yourself, “How has that served me?” Do you go for a job interview and take the first “no” and stop there? Do you ask your friends or family for what you need and stop asking if you don’t get it the first time? Do you call on an ad to buy something, and if they don’t answer or call you back, do you drop it?

Sometimes people get busy. Sometimes people are in a mood. Sometimes the timing is bad. Sometimes there is no reason at all that we get the response (or no response) that we get. If we stop asking, then we give up; we move on. What if we persevered and continued asking for what we want? What if we had that mentality, the thought that it IS okay to keep asking? If you don’t get the job you want, ask again! If you don’t get the return call you’re looking for, call again! Call six times. Ask six times. Be authentic. Be true to you. Be respectful. Keep asking!

This is something that we undo in our children. We teach them NOT to ask more than once. “No means no.” Well, sometimes that is true. What if, however, instead of condemning them for asking again, we actually praised them for their persistence and applaud them for their focus, drive, enthusiasm, creativity, flexibility, and passion! In life, we DO need to ask for what we want. And, sometimes we have to ask many times in order to get it. That is SO okay!

Top 10 Ways to Be Happy at Home

Scott — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:37:17 +0000

You may be wondering why this article is included on a self-help site. Well, being happy at home is “self-helping.” Parenting children is a challenging task. As a parent you are continually facing daily challenges, decision-making and problem solving. This article was written to help you to begin to reflect on your day as a parent. Even though you have continuous concerns for you children, it’s important to take care of yourself. While your children are successfully progressing through their developmental stages, due in great part by your efforts, are you successfully progressing as a person? While reading the Top 10 Ways to Be happy at Home, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you choose to be happy at home? Happiness is often a choice. Many of you reading this may want to argue this point, but it’s true. You can choose to be happy at home. This simple mind-set is may be difficult to put into action, but those who think positively about completing the tasks involved in raising a family and doing all that necessary to succeed, is awesome privilege! Avoid being negative. Just as important, avoid being around individuals who continually discuss home as a burdon.
Do you do something special just for yourself everyday? This means that you need to be nice to yourself. How? Little things… warm bath, read a book, watch a movie, speak or connect with positive friends, exercise for fun, or start a hobby that is purely enjoyable.
Are you in charge of your personally parenting development? If not, begin to do so today! read parenting articles that interest you. Attend some FUN parenting classes for free. Contact your local community education service through your school district, church, YMCA or other community agencies for information on local parenting seminars. Join a parenting support group. Organize a neighborhood parenting support group and begin learning together.
Are you an over-committed parent? Do you try to do it all? Parents who try to be everyones’ friend seldom has any friends at all. In fact, child psychology experts suggest that parents avoid trying to become “friends” with their children. Too many parents leave their home or work to bring something to school that their child forgot. Too many parents try to “micro-manage” their family by feeling that they have to become aware or have an answer for every problem no matter how small or how big the problem becomes. Over-committed parents are often unhappy because they not only say “yes” to everyone in the family, but yes to: church activities, coaching, house-hold chores, friends, relatives and more! Learn to say “no” and feel good about it.

What Causes Autism?

Scott — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:20:06 +0000

There are many articles and books written on the causes of autism. Many are written on a medical level that makes them difficult to read or understand. Research journal articles are also often difficult to decipher and navigate through the data. Child development, child psychology and child behavior experts share common ground in their discussions of autism and the challenges facing parents today. Cross Creek Family Counseling Online recently publish an article that outlines the causes of autism in a manner that the general public will understand. Parents searching for answers on the causes of autism will find this article very helpful.

The Causes of Autism

It is generally accepted that autism is caused by abnormalities in brain structures or functions. Using a variety of new research tools to study human and animal brain growth, scientists are discovering more about normal development and how abnormalities occur.

The brain of a fetus develops throughout pregnancy. Starting out with a few cells, the cells grow and divide until the brain contains billions of specialized cells, called neurons. Research sponsored by NIMH and other components at the National Institutes of Health is playing a key role in showing how cells find their way to a specific area of the brain and take on special functions. Once in place, each neuron sends out long fibers that connect with other neurons. In this way, lines of communication are established between various areas of the brain and between the brain and the rest of the body. As each neuron receives a signal it releases chemicals called neurotransmitters, which pass the signal to the next neuron. By birth, the brain has evolved into a complex organ with several distinct regions and subregions, each with a precise set of functions and responsibilities.

Diagnosing Autism

Scott — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 20:49:09 +0000

Parenting child who have been diagnosed with autism does not mean a life long or child development parenting nightmare. Child psychology and child behavioral experts share that parents who become aware of their autistic child’s needs by teaming with medical and educational specialist will have many opportunities as parents to experience positive outcomes. Like many parenting challenges, the more you learn and the more support you secure from knowledgeable individuals, the better prepared you be.

According to the National Alliance for Autism Research, autism is a brain disorder that typically affects a person’s ability to communicate, form relationships with others, and respond appropriately to the environment. Some people with autism are relatively high functioning, with speech and intelligence intact. Others are mentally impaired, mute, or have serious language delays. For some, autism makes them seem closed off and shut down; others seem locked into repetitive behaviors and rigid patterns of thinking.

Parents are usually the first to notice unusual behaviors in their child. In many cases, their baby seemed “different” from birth-being unresponsive to people and toys, or focusing intently on one item for long periods of time. The first signs of autism may also appear in children who had been developing normally. When an affectionate, babbling toddler suddenly becomes silent, withdrawn, violent, or self-abusive, something is wrong.
Even so, years may go by before the family seeks a diagnosis.

Well-meaning friends and relatives sometimes help parents ignore the problems with reassurances that “Every child is different,” or “Janie can talk-she just doesn’t want to!” Unfortunately, this only delays getting appropriate assessment and treatment for the child.

After assessing observations and test results, the specialist makes a diagnosis of autism only if there is clear evidence of:

Poor or limited social relationships
Underdeveloped communication skills
Repetitive behaviors, interests, and activities.
People with autism generally have some impairment within each category, although the severity of each symptom may vary. The diagnostic criteria also require that these symptoms appear by age 3.

Depression in Girls

Scott — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:04:43 +0000

As a school counselor, I am beginning to see more younger females who exhibit the symptoms of depression or have been diagnosed with depression. Stress appears to be a leading factor for depression in younger females. Participation in too many activities, desire to get good grades and low self-esteem seem to bring about most of the stress symptoms exhibited. Child psychologist and child behavior experts agree that the increase in female teen depression is on the rise. More research in this category of child development needs to be explored. This article explores some of the social, biological and environmental factors involved in this area of depression.

Social and Economic Factors

The role that school, friendships, and family play in depression in a girl is complex. Many girls grow up feeling that they must be everything to everyone and at the same time feel as if they are no one at all. This self-image is common and should be strongly considered as a major contributor to depression in many females; particularly those who are involved in numerous school activities, work and have desire to fit in.

Hormonal Fluctuations and Life Stages

Extreme hormonal shifts can trigger emotional swings in all females. The role of hormones in depression is not clear, however, and is mostly based on observations of depression during specific stages in female development. Female hormones undoubtedly play some role in premenstrual dysphoria, postpartum depression, and SAD. These forms of depression recede or stop after menopause.

How Can I Say “No” To My Child?

Scott — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:07:01 +0000

It’s hard for a parent to say “no” when everything our children see in our culture today promotes “yes.” Advertising companies make and spend billions of dollars every year to get us to say “yes.” Our classroom teachers, who have been trained to say “no” in a variety of acceptable ways, have been replaced by Hollywood writers, video game producers, the music industry and other business cultures promoting “yes.”

“Yes “Is In and “No” Is Out

Unless you and your family live in a home built in a remote part of the country, where there are no billboards, televisions, radios, Internet, mail and other modes of advertising, your children will be exposed to hundreds of promotional ads each day. In fact, each year the average child in the United States will be exposed to over forty thousand ads on television alone. Ads promote the words, “Yes, you can!” Credit card ads sell the idea that parents can “buy it now” for their children even when it’s not in the family budget.

Does this sound familiar?

“There are some things that money can’t buy, for everything else there’s …”

The purpose of this credit card ad not only promotes the ideals centered on giving your child whatever he or she wants, it sustains the “yes” culture that our children have become accustom to living in. Living in this culture is not difficult. In fact, for parents it’s often easier to say, “yes” than it is to say, “no.” When a parent say “yes,” the word often leads to:

GETTING A DESIRED ITEM = FUN = HAPPY LIFE = EASY LIFE!

What parent would not want this for their child? We want our children to be happy. But, does giving our children what they want lead to a lifetime of happiness? You do not need to read another research study that tells you that giving your child what he or she wants will not lead to life-long happiness. You already know that’s true. You already know that instant gratification is not gratifying. You already know that your child needs to hear the word, “NO!”

How to Help Your Child Cope With Divorce

Scott — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:44:24 +0000

Divorce is difficult. There are no easy answers. It’s difficult managing your own emotions and handling your own personal matters, let alone handling your child’s concerns. Below are some coping factors that you may want to consider while helping you child. It’s always important to take into account your child’s age, child development, level of maturity and emotional stability before you discuss the follow with your child.

Is it possible for both parents meet with the child together?

Having the ability to meet together while discussing any issue, regarding your child, shows that you can still work together for the betterment of the child. The child sees that you are civil, respectful and sharing your concerns together.

Tell your child that you love him or her.

It is common for children to question their parents love during this challenging time.

Tell you child that he or she is not at fault.

A large percentage of children believe that they are to blame for the divorce. Tell the child that it is not his or her fault.

Tell your child that you will be there for him or her. You will listen.

Some children see you hurting so they not want to share their feelings and cause more pain. They may even tell you that “I am doing fine,” when he is feeling “not so fine!”

Be honest! Be sincere.

Do not make promises that you can not deliver on!

Should My Teen Get A Job?

Scott — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:55:43 +0000

Some parents are against it. Some parents are for it. Is it a good idea or a bad idea for teenagers to get a job? Some parents want their teen to earn and handle their own money. There are plenty of jobs for teens out there, but do all teens fit for all jobs. There are many things parents should consider when their child asks if they could get a job. Children who are legal to work and want to do so can learn a lot about the world and who they are through the right job and learn about work ethic and earning money. Some can learn that through making an allowance at home. Child development and child behavior experts are slit on this topic. Both groups, however, agree that “it depends on the child”(Child Psychology).

When it comes to jobs for teens, one major consideration is time. There are only so many hours a week each teen should be working so that they are not falling behind in school, and not missing out on things like school activities and hanging out with friends. They should work only what seems to be fine within their schedule, and never more than they can handle. If the grades begin to fall, you may have to have them quit, or talk with their boss about cutting back hours. It may be hard on the child, but school has to come first.

Another consideration when it comes to jobs for teens is what they will be doing and where they will be doing it. A job at the mall may be fine, but if they are coming out of the mall at night by themselves, that may be cause for concern. If they are looking into jobs for teens, make sure you assert yourself and tell them what hours are acceptable, and even what parts of town are ones you can live with. Jobs for teenagers should never require that teen to close a store on their own, or to leave when no one else is around. Those jobs should be reserved for adults.

When a child gets their first paycheck from their first jobs for teens, it is a good idea to talk with them about what they should be doing with their money. They should be allowed to buy something they really want, but they need to put some of it away should be something taught to them very quickly. Some teenagers automatically see jobs for teens as ways to save for college or to get their first car, but others might not have any idea about saving and budgeting money. This is a good lesson for them to learn, and one that should be learned early if possible.

School Anxiety and School Phobia

Scott — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:20:01 +0000

As a fun summer comes to an end, butterflies nerves fill the bellies of many children as they get dressed for their first day back to school. Parents assure their child that they will do “just fine.” For most children that’s where the anxiety ends; they reach the classroom, catch up with their friends and get on with their day. But for some children, the anxiety of leaving home and going to school is so overwhelming that they are unable to attend school at all; these children have become school phobic.

About 5-10% of American school children suffer from a mild form of what is commonly known as school phobia. About 1% suffer from a more severe form, leading to serious problems and school absenteeism. Chronic school absenteeism leads to greater risk for problems in later life – alcohol abuse, criminal behavior, underemployment and even marital problems.
School phobia isn’t just about a child having a tummy ache when it’s time for a long division test, but a serious, long-term anxiety disorder that’s on the increase, particularly among young children. School phobia is now a condition recognized by the National Phobic Society.

Causes of School Phobia
In the under-eights school phobia is usually attributed to separation anxiety – the child’s unwillingness to be parted from a parent. In the over-eights it’s usually about having uncomfortable feelings about school – this could be to do with friendships, fear of under-performing or a more general lack of self-esteem. In some cases home or family factors can play a role; for example, if there is an illness in the family, a recent divorce or if one parent is stressed or depressed.
The phobia can be triggered by general anxiety about school or a single traumatic event; a change of school, an embarrassing incident in class, a learning difficulty or returning to school after an illness are all recognized triggers. Symptoms can be physical as well as psychological. Children may suffer panic attacks, vomit or become withdrawn and socially phobic – real physical reactions to their unhappiness.

Test Anxiety: How Parents Can Help

Scott — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:12:13 +0000

Test anxiety occurs when a student worries about doing well on a test to a point where he or she becomes overwhelmed. This type of anxiety often interferes with sleep and eating patterns, social relationships with friends and family and may even cause one to become physically ill. This disorder can become a major hindrance on test performance and cause extreme nervousness, memory lapses and other stress-related symptoms. Parenting children going through test anxiety is not an easy task. Individuals who specialize in child psychology encourage parents to inform the child’s teacher, school counselor or school psychologist when this form of anxiety persist or occurs annually.

The following are tips for parents to use to help their child reduce test anxiety:

Being well prepared for the test is the best way to reduce test taking anxiety.

Help your child space out study time over a few days or weeks, and continually review class material, don’t wait until the night before and try to learn everything.

It’s important for both th child and parent maintain a positive attitude while preparing for the test. It’s also important to think positively while taking a test as well.

Exercising helps reduce stress. During study breaks: run, skip, jump or do other exercises.

Get a good night’s sleep before the test.

Show up to class early so you won’t have to worry about being late.

Stay relaxed, if you begin to get nervous take a few deep breaths slowly to relax yourself and then get back to work. Visit the “Breathing For Relaxation” article in ScottCounseling for extra breathing technique tips.

Read the directions slowly and carefully before beginning a test.

If you don’t understand the directions on the test, ask the teacher for help

Skim through the test so that you have a good idea how to pace yourself.

Write down important formulas, facts, definitions and/or keywords in the margin first so you won’t worry about forgetting them.

Do the simple questions first to help build up your confidence for the harder questions.

Don’t worry about how fast other people finish their test; just concentrate on your own test.

If you don’t know a question skip it for the time being (come back to it later if you have time), and remember that you don’t have to always get every question right to do well on the test.

Focus on the question at hand; don’t let your mind wander on other things.

If you’re still experiencing extreme test anxiety after following these tips, seek help from your school counselor.

Protecting Your Child: Safety Starts With Good Communication

Scott — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:49:24 +0000

Home should be a place where children feel truly comfortable about talking freely about their likes and dislikes, their friends and their feelings. Parenting children in an atmosphere with open communication, will help both the parent and child feel more comfortable during life’s ups and downs. This secures both parent and child and creates a safer family environment

If you notice a change in your child’s behavior, have a heart-to-heart talk. Find a comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted and talk with your child in a concerned and nonthreatening way. Ask teachers and school administrators if there’s a problem at school and, if so, ask them for help.

Here are some strategies for promoting good communication with your children and an atmosphere to help them thrive:

Remind them how much they’re loved with hugs, words and gestures appropriate from a parent. Child psychology experts agree that when parents recognize theses communication techniques during each child developmental stage, a child’s social development increases. Child behavior and self-esteem also improves when parents and children begin to really listen to each other.

Build confidence and self-esteem in your children by “catching” them being good. Look for situations to say “congratulations,” “way to go” or “good job.”

Support your children’s involvement in extracurricular activities, sports and hobbies of their choice.

Show interest in your children’s schoolwork and activities.

Get to know your children’s teachers and caregivers.

Get to know your children’s friends and their families.

Respect an older child’s need for privacy, but don’t ignore the continued need for parental supervision and involvement.

If you’re overwhelmed by a family problem, seek the assistance of a trained counselor or clergy person.

Why Should Parents Teach Life Skills?

Scott — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:08:10 +0000

In the late 1990’s, USA Today released several research studies regarding student readiness to become employed and work outside of the home. These research studies show how important life skills training is in today’s world of work and why parents need to spend more time helping their child learn more than the basics academic areas of math, science, social studies and English. The studies concluded that:

Over 50% of employers surveyed stated that their workers were not prepared or capable working well with others.

Less than 85% of students graduating from high school were prepared to work within a setting that included a diverse work population.

Less than 10% of graduating seniors had what top employers would consider good communication skills.

During the mid 1990’s, Dr. Gilbert of Cornell University, did a study that involved over 6000 sixth grade students. His study centered on researching the effects of teaching life skills to children in grades 6-12 and the affects that this would have on substance or chemical abuse. His study found that the children who received life skill lessons had 64% fewer substance abuse problems than children who received no life skills training.

During this same time period, the creator of ScottCounseling, met with the President and CEO of the Honeywell Corporation, Dr. James Renier. Dr. Renier, who was once a member of the President’s Council on Education, shared that teaching children how to team, communicate effectively and work in groups was just as important as teaching math, science and reading. “We can teach math and science if we have too,” stated Dr, Renier. “Teachers and parents need to teach kids early in life how to get along with others.”

Teaching life skills as a child progresses from one child development state to the next increases positive child behavior and child social development. Parenting children who receive education in the area of morals, decision-making, teaming and other life skills topics is often more rewarding and less challenging.

Continue reading other articles on life skills included in this section.

Test Taking: True & False Questions

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:38:09 +0000

If your child is struggling with test in school, speak with your child’s teachers for study and testing tips strategies. Some school districts offer test-taking classes during the school year and summer. Below are some key testing tip for taking “true-false” test.

Read each test question carefully. Look for familiar key words or facts that you learned about the question. Normally true and false question that include words such as “usually,” “generally” or “sometimes” lead to TRUE answers.

True or false questions that include words like “never” or “always” are usually FALSE.

If any part of the question is false, then the entire question is FALSE.

Usually there are more TRUE answers on a true/false test.

If there is no penalty for guessing, then guess! You have a 50/50 chance of getting the right answer.

Test Taking: Multiple Choice

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:47:28 +0000

Test taking is a skill developed over a period of time as a student progresses in school. Remember, your child’s ability to take a test is just one area of your child’s academic life. Below is a list of test taking tips that can be applied to improve multiple choice test questions. It’s important that children practice test taking skills on a regular basis.

Practice the following when taking a multiple choice test:

Read the question twice before you look at the answers
After reading the question and before looking for the answer provided on the test, try to come up with the correct answer on your own.
Read all the possible choices before selecting one.
Use a process of elimination to discover the correct answer.
If “All the above” is a possible answer and you see two correct answers, then “All the above” would be a correct choice.
In most cases, a positive choice is more likely to be the correct answer (or true) than a negative choice.
The correct answer often has the most information included in the answer.
Usually your first choice will be your best choice.
When there is no penalty for guessing then make an educated guess when selecting an answer.

Test Taking: General Tips That Work for All Test

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:28:39 +0000

Some children are great test takers. Other children do not do as well no matter how hard they study. Below are some test taking tips that may help your child improve scores.

Have your child get plenty of sleep the night before a test. Your child will be more alert and have a better chance of focusing on the test questions.
Eat breakfast! Eat Lunch! Don’t take a test when your body is low on fuel. Don’t over eat either. Fresh fruits and vegetables along with foods high in protein are excellent sources of fuel. Avoid high fatty or greasy foods such as French fries.
Take advantage of practice test. Most text books have questions at the end of each chapter that your child can practice before the test. Many text book companies have online practice test for your child to take in preparation for the real test.
Studying for a test over a long period of time is better than “cramming” for a test the night before. Have your child study for a short period of time each day on a regular basis and avoid the one time “cram session.”
Do or complete all the assignments that lead up to a test. This is especially true for a math test.
Help your child with organization. Studies indicate that organized children are often better test takers.
Encourage your child to join before or after school study groups. Some teachers encourage their students to come early or stay after to get extra help.
Help your child to form questions prior to a test that ask the teacher questions about the test. Examples of good questions to ask may include:

“What is going to be on the test?”
“What’s the best way to prepare for the test?”
“Is the practice test similar to the real test?
“Where should I spend most of my time preparing for the test?”

Test Taking Tips: Essay Questions

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:23:29 +0000

When studying for essay tests that provide you with questions in advance:

Research and find all the information or facts to thoroughly answer the question.
Write the essay in advance. Practice answering the essay by actually writing it before you take the test.
Study and memorize. Outline key points in your mind.

While taking an essay test it is important to do the following:

Read the directions! Read the directions! Read the directions!
Only give your opinion if the question(s) asks for your opinion.
Be neat and organized with your thoughts and writing. Neater papers often score higher.
If the question is asking for facts, then stick to the fact. Do not provide your opinion unless you are asked for it.
Write down and provide information that thoroughly answers the essay question. More quality information is better than little or poor information.
Watch your time! Don’t spend too much time on one essay question.
Write out an outline of possible points, facts or information that you want included in the essay before you begin writing.
Use appropriate grammar, sentence structure and paragraph formation while writing your essay.

How to Help Your Overweight Child

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:04:16 +0000

At least one in five children under the age of 18 is overweight. Children who grow up overweight have a tendency to develop a lower self-esteem, avoid improving social skills and often find it difficult to achieve at a higher academic standard. Below are some parenting tips that parents can may want to consider to help a child experiencing weight concerns:

1. Be Supportive

One of the most important things you can do to help overweight children is to let them know that they are okay whatever their weight. Children’s feelings about themselves often are based on their parents’ feelings about them. If you accept your children at any weight, they will be more likely to accept and feel good about themselves. It is also important to talk to your children about weight, allowing them to share their concerns with you. Your child probably knows better than anyone else that he or she has a weight problem. For this reason, overweight children need support, acceptance, and encouragement from their parents.

2. Focus on the family

Parents should try not to set children apart because of their weight, but focus on gradually changing their family’s physical activity and eating habits. Family involvement helps to teach everyone healthful habits and does not single out the overweight child.

What Causes Children To Become Overweight?

Scott — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:51:07 +0000

In the United States at least one child in five is overweight and the number of overweight children continues to grow. Over the last 2 decades, this number has increased by more than 50 percent, and the number of “extremely” overweight children has nearly doubled (Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 1995: 149: 1085-91). A doctor determines if children are overweight by measuring their height and weight. Although children have fewer weight-related health problems than adults, overweight children are at high risk of becoming overweight adolescents and adults. Overweight adults are at risk for a number of health problems including heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure stroke, and some forms of cancer.
Children become overweight for a variety of reasons. The most common causes are genetic factors, lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or a combination of these factors. In rare cases, a medical problem, such as an endocrine disorder, may cause a child to become overweight. Your physician can perform a careful physical exam and some blood tests, if necessary, to rule out this type of problem.

Genetic Factors

Children whose parents or brothers or sisters are overweight may be at an increased risk of becoming over weight themselves. Although weight problems run in families, not all children with a family history of obesity will be overweight. Genetic factors play a role in increasing the likelihood that a child will be overweight, but shared family behaviors such as eating and activity habits also influence body weight.

Lifestyle
A child’s total diet and his or her activity level both play an important role in determining a child’s weight. The increasing popularity of television and computer and video games contributes to children’s inactive lifestyles. The average American child spends approximately 24 hours each week watching television-time that could be spent in some sort of physical activity.

Parenting children who are overweight should not include negative consequences. Research done by child psychology specialist indicates that negative consequences for inappropriate child behavior in regards to diet may lead to stress. For many children, stress leads to an increase in eating pattern.

For more information, read the article, “How To Help Your Overweight Child.”

Avoid Sending Your Child On A Guilt Trip

Scott — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 14:56:45 +0000

Do you continually make comments that send your child on a guilt trip? Parents who strive to make their children feel guilty often succeed. The end result of making comments to make a child feel guilty often leads the child in the direction of low self-esteem, aggressive behavior, inappropriate social skills and other undesirable behaviors.

Some common comments may include:

“I feel embarrassed when you dress that way.”

“I feel bad when you talk to your mom more than me.”

“Other kids can help their parents…why not you?
Instead of making guilt-enhancing comments make to get your child to accomplish a task that you want done, ask or tell your child to complete the task. It’s better to be firm and authoritative then manipulative.
Pick your battles. If their zipper is down or a strap is undone, mention it to your child. Otherwise, leave their dress for their friends and school officials to battle with. Yes, the school (or kids at school) will make sure your child is dressed appropriately.

“You make me feel angry when you do this to me.”

You, as the parent, control your own feelings. Your child can’t make you feel a feeling that you don’t want to have.

“What if your Grandmother say you with those kids?”

Truth be known, grandma probably did not like the kids you were with either. If your child’s friends are not breaking the law, using foul language, are polite around you and other adults, than Grandma will most likely accept your child’s friends.

“Clean your plate, there are starving children in Africa.”

Serve your child smaller portions of food before you make this statement. If starving children is your passion of concern, set an example for your child by donating food to your local food shelf.

“Everyone in the family goes to college. You don’t want to be the only one not to attend college!”

Even though your intentions may be to encourage your child to attend college, this statement usually brings about more stress. It would be more productive to check out your child’s level a fear regarding college (or other areas where your child shows reluctance) then to use a guilt causing statement.

Scott Counseling» Child Development

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