ScottCounseling

Parenting With Love

Accept your child as is. Don’t try to make your child into another person that he or she does not want to be. It common for children to strive to be someone different than their parents. It’s also common for children become more like their parents, as they grow older. Love your child for who he or she is now!

There are many things that a parent can do to show his or her love for a child. Experts in the area of child psychology say it’s as easy as saying, “I love you” to a child. Other ways to show your love may include the following:

Attend your child’s activities. You don’t… Continue Reading

Child behavior that becomes difficult or challenging needs to be addressed in a manner that keeps the parent mindful of what is occurring in the child’s life. Was their a death, trauma, change or surprising event that took place? Was, or is their a family change due to a divorce, death or move? Is there any medical condition that is or has taken place with your child or someone close to the child? If your child has some pressing medical condition, see the child medical doctor and share your concerns. Inform your child’s school counselor with information regarding a death, divorce or trauma related incident. The school counselor may provide you with information, names and referral… Continue Reading

Child do not want us to judge them; especially in a manner that compares them to other children. Successful parenting involves developing a relationship that includes open, positive conversations with your child.

Ask your child how he or she feels about the situation that you are discussing before you state your feelings or present your opinions.

Strive to keep your voice tone neutral and accepting. Be descriptive, rather than critical.

Descriptive example: “I heard you swear, what’s going on?”

Judgmental example: “People swear because they are not smart enough to select a better word.”

Descriptive example: “I see your wearing that beer shirt again. “The school does not allow it and neither do I.”

Judgmental example: “Kids who wear shirts like that turn into drug… Continue Reading

Teens normally come to their parents when they need to talk. Be patient. Your teen may appear to be rude, in a hurry or cut you short. This is not their intention. Be patient.

• Teens are not adults. You may from time to time have an adult conversation with your teen. Treasure this moment! Don’t expect it all the time.
• Teens often are more comfortable talking to their friends or peers than they are talking to adults; especially their parents. Again, nothing against you mom or dad, but kids their age are more fun to talk with. Be patient.
  Moody teens will avoid conversations with you.
• Happy teens may talk your ears off. You may have

Discuss with your child that you feel he or she is at a developmental stage in life capable of making “this” decision. Take time to discuss the decision that is being considered, what they feel the outcome will be and what options are available if the decision is correct, or incorrect. Helping your child list options on paper, discussing pros and cons and select options that are safe and have some chance to succeed is important.

Many parents worry too much about helping their child make a decisions that will always lead to success. Decisions making that leads to failure can be appropriate and meaningful as long as the child is not placing him or… Continue Reading

Self-esteem is just that… SELF esteem! Self refers to the person who owns or possesses his or her own esteem. Is it possible to build someone else’s esteem? Parents, educators and child psychology and behavioral specialist have all pondered that question. Here are some self-esteem factors for parents to consider.

Signs That Your Child Has Poor Self-Esteem

• Your child gives up easily

Television? Phone Use? Instant Messaging? Eating? Friends? Late Nights? Homework? Activities?

Do Children Need Limits?

It’s important for parents to enforce rules and set limits for their children. Youth surveys indicate that children feel more secure when parents set limits. Consider the following when enforcing rules and setting limits:

Consequences should be meaningful, a learning opportunity and appropriate for the child’s age, situation and child’s reasoning ability.

Don’t make threats or set a consequence that you can’t apply.

Try to let your child know in advance what the consequences will be for breaking a set rule.

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www.scottcounseling.com… Continue Reading

Peer pressure is a tough issue for every child to manage. Everyone wants to have and keep friends. Parents need to help their child realize that peer pressure is a normal part of life and child behavior. Parents also need to help their child cope with peer pressure. The following brief steps are written to help you, the parent, begin to assist your child with this important issue.
Help your child to become more assertive with his or her friends by:

Teaching your child to use a calm but firm voice. Say, “No, I don’t care to be with you guys when you do that stuff.”

Role-play with your child: The parent plays the part of the negative influence… Continue Reading

Do you continually make comments that send your child on a guilt trip? Parents who strive to make their children feel guilty often succeed. The end result of making comments to make a child feel guilty often leads the child in the direction of low self-esteem, aggressive behavior, inappropriate social skills and other undesirable behaviors.

Some common comments may include:

“I feel embarrassed when you dress that way.”

“I feel bad when you talk to your mom more than me.”

“Other kids can help their parents…why not you?
Instead of making guilt-enhancing comments make to get your child to accomplish a task that you want done, ask or tell your child to complete the task. It’s better to be firm and authoritative then manipulative.
Pick… Continue Reading

As your child is growing and developing physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually, it’s important for parents to recognize what stage of development their child is at. Parents who recognize the differences in the developmental growth stages are often more successful in parenting. Read through the developmental differences listed below. Keep in mind that children grow at different rates with different degrees of success and failure. As always, it’s important for parents to check with their pediatrician while their child is progressing through the developmental stages described in this article.

Physical Development

Steady and slow growth development occurs in children in this age group.
Some body pains, especially in the legs and knees are common. Check with your medical doctor if growth pains persist.

High school… Continue Reading