Psychology professor, Dr. Francis Compton, who completed numerous studies in the area of social behavior and swearing, found that 87% of children (ages 12 to 19) used curse words or foul language. When asked to make a list of words, the 855 participants in the research study classified their language as inappropriate. This study, done in 2000, concluded that sometimes harsh or graphic words used by the participants were verbalized to make them feel older or more mature.
Dr. Joanne Briggs, Child Psychologist, states that “swearing and bad language usually comes before age six, and you either totally ignore it or say, that’s not acceptable, we don’t talk that way.”
James O’Connor, author of the book Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing, claims that “Most swearing is complaining or criticizing, but when parents and teens are battling over profanity, it’s time for a new tactic.” He advises parents to “Stop the yelling and threats and calmly explain how the language really bothers you.”
What Parents Can Do To Stop A Teen From Swearing
Children need to learn at an early age (Pre-school through second grade) that swearing is not acceptable. Most child behavioral specialist agree that talking to your child, not yelling, is the method of choice that needs to be adopted by parents to curb language problems. Other parenting strategies specifically designed to put an end to inappropriate teen language are listed below.
Swearing Is Not Cool
Most English swear words are not only used inappropriately, but having little meaning to justify their use in anger, to be “cool,” or to manipulate. For example, the commonly used word, “bitch,” means female dog. To call someone a female dog in anger is not only inappropriate, but ridicules.
Parent Model Good Language
Parents or other adults who swear or use foul language are only reinforcing its use with children. Swearing often becomes a habit. Like most habits, swearing can be broken within 5 to 7 days of non-use. Make a commitment with your child that you will stop swearing or using inappropriate language together.
You Are What You Say You Are
When anger leads to swearing, the foul word often leads to more anger. The opposite is also true; the use of positive words often lead to a more positive feeling. Choose your words carefully. It may or may not make you feel better.
“No, Everyone Does Not Swear”
More and more R rated movies contain obscene language. The use of foul language in the media has been one of the causes of increased teen swearing. Some teens may use the “freedom of speech” argument that includes, “I have a right to say what I want.” Other people have rights, too. This includes the right not to be verbally assaulted by profanity.
Help Your Teen to Use Other Words
Some individuals swear or use foul language because they feel they do not know any other words to express their uncomfortable feelings. Parents need to teach appropriate words to replace bad words. Some baseball coaches teach their players to say “sugar” instead of a foul word when they strike out. “Darn” is less offensive than “dam.” Talk to your child about using word replacement techniques to end inappropriate language.
Use Incentives
Put your teen on a no swearing contract. Build in incentives. Keep the contract simple and positive. Some parents charge a $1 when the teen swears. Don’t overreact to occasional violations, but severe violations will require more severe consequences (withholding allowance, hanging with friends or the use of the car). Whatever consequences you choose, be firm. You are the parent. You set the rules.
Establish a Profanity Free Zone
Share with your teen that, “This is a swearing-free environment,” No one can swear or use foul language; not even the parent(s). Swearing free and profanity free zones include foul language coming from media (television, movies etc.) and game sources (mature rated video games). Song lyrics that contain foul swear words are all too common in today’s teen music selections. Hold a discussion with your teen what music is and is not allowed in your profanity free home.
Be Patient
If your teen has been using curse words or other inappropriate language, it may take some time for him or her to break the habit. Continue to remind your teen of your expectations. Remember not to go “over the top” with punishment or consequences, but use firm reminders.
To receive more professional help, Go to: Ask a Counselor if your teen is out of control with his or her words.
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I’m 15 and most of the people I know swear. I cant even walk down the hallway at school without hearing the F-bomb dropped a couple of times. Even I do it occasionally. It’s not a matter of our parents not teaching us that it’s not okay to swear. Now its just a form of self expression and rebellion. We’ll swear right in front of our teachers and they don’t care anymore. My friends and I even occasionally call each other bitch. It’s just something that we do and as long as we aren’t swearing every other word I don’t really see the harm.
I think cursing is not what you say its how you say it. For example the F-bomb can be used as a degrading words as well as a joke towards a friend. So get over it and remove the stick from your asses it’s not that serious