Teen Swearing: What Parents Can Do
2009 November 03 by: Scott
You Are What You Say You Are
When anger leads to swearing, the foul word often leads to more anger. The opposite is also true; the use of positive words often lead to a more positive feeling. Choose your words carefully. It may or may not make you feel better.
“No, Everyone Does Not Swear”
More and more R rated movies contain obscene language. The use of foul language in the media has been one of the causes of increased teen swearing. Some teens may use the “freedom of speech” argument that includes, “I have a right to say what I want.” Other people have rights, too. This includes the right not to be verbally assaulted by profanity.
Help Your Teen to Use Other Words
Some individuals swear or use foul language because they feel they do not know any other words to express their uncomfortable feelings. Parents need to teach appropriate words to replace bad words. Some baseball coaches teach their players to say “sugar” instead of a foul word when they strike out. “Darn” is less offensive than “dam.” Talk to your child about using word replacement techniques to end inappropriate language.
Use Incentives
Put your teen on a no swearing contract. Build in incentives. Keep the contract simple and positive. Some parents charge a $1 when the teen swears. Don’t overreact to occasional violations, but severe violations will require more severe consequences (withholding allowance, hanging with friends or the use of the car). Whatever consequences you choose, be firm. You are the parent. You set the rules.
Establish a Profanity Free Zone
Share with your teen that, “This is a swearing-free environment,” No one can swear or use foul language; not even the parent(s). Swearing free and profanity free zones include foul language coming from media (television, movies etc.) and game sources (mature rated video games). Song lyrics that contain foul swear words are all too common in today’s teen music selections. Hold a discussion with your teen what music is and is not allowed in your profanity free home.
Be Patient
If your teen has been using curse words or other inappropriate language, it may take some time for him or her to break the habit. Continue to remind your teen of your expectations. Remember not to go “over the top” with punishment or consequences, but use firm reminders.
To receive more professional help, Go to: Ask a Counselor if your teen is out of control with his or her words.
