The Effects Of Bullying

2008 June 02 by: Scott

Over the past few years, the ripple of widely publicized school shootings has demonstrated that the nation’s epidemic of youth violence has broadened in terms of age, geography and sex, to encompass all populations. The attention drawn by the media to these recent tragedies has thankfully also drawn attention to issues regarding the early identification of risk factors for violence and strategies for violence prevention.

We have now come to recognize that acts of bullying and revenge are associated with many of these violent incidents. Previously, issues related to bullying have not been a prominent part of the violence prevention agenda.

Bullying Causes Emotional Damage

The experience of being bullied can end up causing lasting damage to victims. This is both self-evident, and also supported by an increasing body of research. It is not necessary to be physically harmed in order to suffer lasting harm. Words and gestures are quite enough. In fact, the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me” is more or less exactly backwards. For the most part, physical damage sustained in a fist fight heals readily, especially damage that is sustained during the resilient childhood years. What is far more difficult to mend is the primary wound that bullying victims suffer which is damage to their self-concepts; to their identities. Bullying is an attempt to instill fear and self-loathing. Being the repetitive target of bullying damages your ability to view yourself as a desirable, capable and effective individual.

Ask any child what a bully looks like, and he or she is likely to describe someone who is bigger and stronger. Yet, while bullies certainly are known for their ability to overpower others physically, mental bullying can be just as damaging to children.

When children are picked on by bullies, whether physically or mentally, many feel the need to suffer in silence for fear that speaking up will provoke further torture. But bullying is not a problem that usually just takes care of itself. Action needs to be taken.

Parents and caregivers are sometimes reluctant to intervene in conflicts between children but they can teach children not to take part in—or become victims of—bullying. Children can be taught to assert themselves effectively. As a caring adult, you can:

* Demonstrate assertive behavior. Teach children to ask for things directly and respond directly to each other. It is OK to say “no” to an unacceptable demand. Let children role-play with puppets or dolls.
* Teach social skills. Suggest ways for children to compromise or to express their feelings in a positive way. Show children how to resolve problems firmly and fairly.
* Identify potential friendship problems and correct them. Teach children how to ignore routine teasing. Not all provocative behavior must be acknowledged. Teach children the value of making new friends.
* Teach common courtesy skills. Teach children to ask nicely and to respond appropriately to polite requests.
* Identify ways to respond to bullies. Help children identify acts of aggression, bossiness or discrimination. Encourage children not to give up objects or territory to bullies. This discourages bullying behavior.
* Demonstrate the rewards of personal achievement. Teach children to trust and value their own feelings. They will be more likely to resist peer pressure, respect warm and caring adults, and be successful in achieving their personal goals.