Trauma: Helping Children Cope

2008 May 04 by: Scott

Part of parenting and raising a child in a world that includes harsh and sometimes traumatic situations, involves preparation. A child’s development should include a parent’s recognition and prepared reaction that will assist the child and family during trauma. Dr. Caron Goode’s article, “Helping Children Cope with Trauma,” provides insights and solutions for parents who want to know what to do before a trauma occurs and how to help a child cope with the situation.

Helping Children Cope with Trauma

Whether a personal trauma or a national tragedy, like the one we have recently endured, our children suffer. Whether their suffering manifests as overt misbehavior or in quiet reticence, we can help children cope so they do not feel alone. While we cannot shield children’s innocence, we can help them feel safe.
Some symptoms of trauma are immediate and other symptoms may not show themselves for months or years. Because we care for our children, the task before us is to watch for symptoms and choose an appropriate response. Our responses may be verbal, but more often our assistance can simply be nonverbal and supportive.
A Classic Case of Trauma
I arrived early at school to organize my materials for the day. My classroom was across the hall from the school gymnasium and I went in to say hello to some students who were routinely dropped off when the parents went to work. The gymnasium was always open for these students, and the television was left on so they could eat their breakfast and entertain themselves under the eye of an instructional aide.That morning, the news on the Gulf War loudly blared from the television as it had for the past several mornings. I observed one of my seven-year-old students. His eyes were glassy. He was holding a piece of toast, but he wasn’t eating. He was staring at the television blankly. This went on for several minutes until I asked him to come speak with me. He said that his stomach and his head hurt. He wanted to go home, but knew he had to stay at school because his Mom was working. The circles under his eyes bespoke his lack of sleep. As we talked more about school, he said he flunked his spelling test, and couldn’t do his homework any more. I said, “Tell me more.”Given permission to speak about his problem, phrases tumbled out in disorder, and he kept talking for fifteen minutes. Finally he said his Dad had been shipped off to the Gulf War. I realized he had been listening to endless war stories for several mornings, and probably all afternoon and evening at home. He finally shared his innermost secret: that he didn’t want to sleep at night because he dreamed that his father died. And the dream repeated itself night after night, so he cleverly devised ways to stay awake. The television stories haunted his dreams and courted fantasies of personal loss.
I arrived early at school to organize my materials for the day. My classroom was across the hall from the school gymnasium and I went in to say hello to some students who were routinely dropped off when the parents went to work. The gymnasium was always open for these students, and the television was left on so they could eat their breakfast and entertain themselves under the eye of an instructional aide.