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Have you ever come across an individual who knocks you down, tear you down over everything that you are about? S/he will criticize you, condemn you and basically let you know or feel that you are an idiot for even thinking what you are thinking or doing what you are doing. Then several months/years later you realize that they are now doing the same thing that they were criticizing you for. Then they turn around start telling you that you should be doing what they are doing. Sometimes there are no words to describe these individuals. You can only look at them with incredulity and your mouth dropped open.
When it’s a loved one who is tearing you down whether it’s a mate or a family member, it can hurt you to the very core. This is the one person who you would expect to support and back you up. They don’t have to have the same dreams as you do, but you expect them to support yours in the same manner that you would have supported their dreams. Sadly, it can be very easy to succumb to the criticisms. You begin to lose interest in your dreams and you stop doing anything that remotely has anything to do with your dreams. Slowly but surely you begin to gravitate more to your partner and you begin to make their life, their dreams yours. Just to let you know, that is the pinnacle of emotional abuse. Don’t feel bad or stupid. It can and has happened to the best of us. Those individuals are unhappy, insecure and did I mention deeply unhappy. It will take sometime for you to get back on your feet and find the strength to pursue your dreams again. Those individuals are so insecure they don’t want to see you getting ahead of them or they may think that if you were to become successful you would leave them. They want you to be dependent on them and be there for them alone. If you really were to look at their behaviour you would realize that they are behaving as children. Which child really wants their Mother to work and not be at home for them 24/7? None that I can think of.
Unfortunately, if you are searching for approval from your mate or anyone else, you are in essence setting up yourself for emotional abuse and you have given up your power even though you may not have realized or understood that that was the case. If your mate is trying to twist your dreams then he/she is insecure and chances are you are also insecure since you are seeking his or her approval. It is important that you give yourself the approval that you need. Maintain your own power over your life and that way not even your mate can break you. Nothing is wrong with running an idea by your mate, but don’t let that be a need for approval. While emotional abuse can leave you deeply scarred it does not have to be the end of you.
What can you do or is there something that can be done to get your mate to show you some support and stop knocking down your dreams? Yes there is, but it begins with you FIRST! If you are not sure about yourself, have low self-confidence, low self-esteem, which may have been made worse by your partners criticism then you need to begin working on You. It is important that you work on your issues that are behind the low self-esteem, low self-confidence and low self-worth. Trying to boost your confidence or self-esteem without first going within to locate what issues gave birth to them, will only result in you working on the surface stuff that can be erased at any time. When you work on yourself from your deeper emotions, you build a foundation within you that is so rock-solid that nothing can break. You may bend, but you won’t break. When you have begun to take a deeper look at your issues, you will begin to build up your internal power. You will find that you no longer need your partner’s approval, you don’t need them to believe in you because you now believe in yourself. Does that mean that you don’t need their support? Of course not. That is essentially one of the reasons you got involved in a relationship with each other. To be each other’s support. Of course, if your mate is not supporting you which is evident by them trying to knock down our dreams, maybe you need to re-consider continuing on with this person.
However, your relationship doesn’t necessarily have to end. To have a successful relationship, two emotionally healthy individuals need to be involved. Maybe a break from each other will suffice in order to help you to re-connect with who you are. When two wounded Souls come together in a Love Relationship it can produce every unhealthy emotion there is. It maybe necessary for both of you to take a break from each other in order to re-connect with yourselves individually. Once you have both healed on your own and if so desires, the two of you can re-join forces and move forward together in Spiritual Harmony, Strength and Power!
Spiritual Life Design Coach, Motivational Speaker & Author Trudy-Ann Ewan is passionate about helping individuals create their passionate life. She motivates and educates individuals on how to fall in love with themselves and create a balanced and (w)holistic life by developing a better relationship with themselves without judgment. Sign up for the free Create Your Passion Newsletter at: http://www.createyourpassion.com/FREE-Newsletter.html and where you can also join her coaching program. You can join her on Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/createyourpassion