Parents should become concerned when there child takes something that does not belong to him or her.  This concern or worry about what reason(s) the child took something without permission often makes the parent begin to wonder if their child is lacking something in their life that the parent may have missed.

First off,  it’s normal for a very young child to take something which excites his or her interest.  This should not be regarded as stealing or theft until the child  is old enough ( usually three to five years old) to understand that taking something which  belongs to another person is wrong.  Parents should begin to teach their children at an early age ( 3-5 years old) about ”other people’s belongings”  or property rights.  Saying simple things like, “This is not yours,” or “you need to ask to have this,” are appropriate words to share with a young child.

When a child reaches an age where they understand right from wrong,  but still steal more steps need to be taken by the parent.  Often, stealing occurs in an older child or teenagers life because something is going wrong in their lives and they need your help to sort it out.

Children may steal because:

• he or she wants to impress friends – especially if they feel left out. They may steal to be able to give things to other children to try and buy friendship,
• they have no pocket money or spending money that the other children have,
• they want to do what their friends tell them to do – for example their group might dare them to steal,
• they feel unhappy, unloved, unsafe or low self-esteem,
• they need attention – stealing usually gets lots of attention often because they feel they don’t get their fair share of attention, 
• they are angry or to get back at someone,
• they are part of an environment where there is little understanding that stealing is wrong.

Stealing: 12 Things Parents Can Do

1. Don’t react too quickly if you find your child has stolen. Give yourself time to think about it first so you can talk to the child calmly.
2. Try to find the cause and fix it.
3. Teach and show the things you want your children to learn, eg why it is important to respect others’ belongings.
4. Make sure that your children do not see you do things like avoiding paying fares for example.
5. Children learn much more from what you do than from what you say.
6. Give children and young people opportunities to learn to be responsible with money, eg some pocket money to manage.
7. Support the child or young person in returning or paying back what she has taken without making this too dramatic.
8. Teach problem solving if it is needed to help with other problems.
9. If pocket money is “docked” as a punishment, make sure the child or young person still has some money left to spend.
10. Give the child or young person some chances to succeed, eg get something from the shop and bring you the change.
11. Teach children why it is important to respect others, and show respect for the child.
12. Do not label the children or young people as thieves, or discuss the problem with other adults in front of them.